You Don't Have to be the Smoothest Guy Ever...

Whats goin on fellas? How are you all doing? Me, I'm a ball of sunshine and bunny rabbits, thanks for asking, lol. Seriously though, I'm doing pretty good. Dreading going to work because as we all know, its quite often our employ does not match our personal tastes(in other words, we hate our jobs). But I'm still cool... as always.

And thats somewhat my point. Always be cool. In my line of (other)work, I meet plenty of women(some attractive but some, well... you know), and one thing I've seen constantly, over years and years, is that women will eat a guy alive if he's not cool.

And no I'm not talking about Brad Pitt in Fight Club cool or Tom Cruise in Top Gun smooth(or rather arrogantly charming), I'm simply referring to being at ease. The same way women demolish a nervous stuttering nervous guy, is the same way they appreciate and are attracted to a guy that is completely at ease and makes her feel at ease, even when you don't know each other.

But the truth is, its not really about making her feel at ease. Its about you being comfortable. Comfortable approaching, conversating, laughing, joking, smiling, teasing, basically interacting. Its not necessarily the acts themselves. Any drunk loser can open a girl, laugh and joke play... but he can also look like a chump doing it. Its more HOW you do it.

See, women aren't like men. When men talk to women, they tend take what women say at face value... they don't look much deeper than specific "what she says and does." The not so bright guys anyway. But when women talk to men, the look for EVERY SINGLE THING about you... through WHY you do and say what you do and HOW you do those things.

So when you walk up to a girl all nervous and shy and stumble over your words and apologize for bothering her and forget what you were saying and drool and tell her you think she's hot and you'll leave now and never bother her again(all of this with as little confidence and comfort as humanly possible), she might turn and say to her friends, "Awww that was so cute how he did that. That was really sweet how he was so nervous."

You'd think that means she thought you were sweet for doing all that. But again, that would be taking what she says at face value only and not looking at things how women see it. I'll give you some insight on girl code. When you did all that, this is how she sees you...

-Oh, no, please dont let him be looking at me. Oh no, he's walking over here.- She turns and smiles to at least be polite.

You whimper and stumble over your words and somehow get out "hi, you're sexy" or its equivalent while also managing to apologize for bothering her which you think is polite and also that you'll never bother her again which you think she thinks is cute because you're nervous.

And she's thinking to herself -he's so nervous. He must never have seen a girl before. I bet he's never even had sex. Its so cute that he's trying to talk though... cute and SAD. God how I feel sorry for him. Let me at least smile... its the most action he'll ever get. I bet his mother neglected him as a child, and since he never had many friends or a strong father figure, he's struggled to just keep it together. Oh, look, he says he'll never bother me again, THANK GOD. Why is he tiptoeing away? I wish he would turn and run... so I can. LMAO, he almost tripped over that guy. So sad. Man am I glad thats over!-

Then she turns to her girls, "Awww that was so cute how he did that. That was really sweet how he was so nervous."

And the next time they bring you up, everyone falls on the floor laughing. You were their comic relief.

And yeah, maybe that was a little extreme, but I kid you not, that is how women look at what you do and draw all kinds of conclusions from ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. You were a little nervous and she got ALL OF THAT plus laughs from you.

So... imagine had you walked up to her completely at ease, not a hint of nervousness and just said, "Hi, you're pretty cute." And stood there waiting for her to start a conversation.

You wouldn't even have to do it with Brad Pitt style confidence. If a woman looks at a little bit of nervousness and draws those crazy conclusions FROM NOTHING, how do you think she'd look at you for approaching her the other way?

She wont know what to think. Is he a player? Is he rich? Is he a crazy? Whats the deal with him? At the very least, she'll talk to you for twenty seconds on intrigue alone, JUST TO HAVE MORE MATERIAL TO MAKE HER INSIGHTS. And if you never give her anything to make any bad judgments about you, because you're never nervous, never stumble, always at ease, you're ten times ahead of the first guy by doing nothing but being comfortable.

So put it together... BE FREAKING COMFORTABLE. Its that simple.

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Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesnt keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.