Getting Good vs. Getting Girls

Lots of guys are gonna tell you you need to master alot of things before you can get laid.

You'll hear guys saying things like, "Hey, you need to learn these techniques. You have to know this method. You have to read these ebooks. You have to take this bootcamp and that seminar."

There are plenty of people who are going to teach you techniques, routines, lines, and methods to use to get laid. Thats fine, most guys who come here are going to need alot of that stuff.

What most guys won't teach you is to have a mindset thats going to make this journey in bettering yourself with women, as smooth and as easy as possible. When you're new to PU or have zero experience with women(or both), its easy to get caught up in the idea that you have to master every technique and every method that you see.

Its easy to get caught up in Guru worship spending thousands and thousands of hard earned dollars to learn techniques and things that you cant apply because you dont have the field experience to back up the techniques, basically just throwing your money away to have a guy yell at you to get in set and picking you apart when you come back(hell, I can do this right now, for free, lol).

It's easy to get caught up in wanting to be the top PUA on the planet. The quest to be the best. Even I was infatuated with the idea at the beginning.

But if you wanna get from zero experience to hero in the field, none of these motivations are going to take you there in the long run. The desire to lay every girl you meet, the search for the perfect 10, the desire to pay back all those women who looked down on you before who are gonna kiss your ass when you show them the skills you've learned, for most guys, these motivations aren't gonna help you in the long run either.

What happens when you have the ability to lay alot of the girls you meet and PU gives you nothing to look forward to? What happenes when you lay A COUPLE of perfect tens and realize that beautiful women arent really that important? What happens when you lay all those chicks that looked down on you in the past, and you blow em off for better chicks that you picked up using your skills alone?

PU is gonna be empty. Youre going to have wasted alot of time searching to master every technique, wasted alot of money to learn basic skills, and spent alot of your life aiming to be the best. Then youre gonna go on your merry way looking for some other wordly pleasure to fill whatever it is thats missing in your life.

I've seen guys do it. Master every skill, sleep with tons of women, and they're still miserable. They move on to devote themselves to a religion they barely believe in to feel better about themselves. You dont have to go through that excrutiating process, and you have all the opportunity in the world to get what you want out of PU and out of life, . So lets get your heads together now while it can make a difference, before you go down that long road of wasting your time.

Theres basically two ways to approach learning pick-up and how to seduce women. You learn and pick-up with the intention of getting girls, or you learn and pick-up with the intention of getting good. This is about as simple as I can make it.


Where this is applies to you: DO NOT APPROACH PU WITH THE IDEA OF GETTING GOOD.

Not yet. You can see which experienced guys are simply out to get good just by watching what they're doing. Its all about how much can their skillset accomplish on its own.

You wanna get good? You put yourself in a position where you have little to rely on other than your own head. No social proof. No pivots. No wing. Dress down(no peacocking). Cold approaching only. Going for threesomes. Going for the hottest girls only. Ignoring logistics. Basically trying to bed women by sheer will alone.

When youre new, if you constantly put yourselves in interactions that involve alot of those situations all grouped together, you're going to make it ALOT, for emphasis sake, ENTIRELY WAY TOO MUCH HARDER on yourself than it needs to be. You're going to make it hard for yourself to see success. To get laid. To meet girls that you're able to handle at your level of skill. Youre going to make it harder for yourself to be satisfied with your level of success.

Even worse, most newer guys spend most of their time in the field trying to master ALL of those specific situations. And they have to spend thousands of approaches just to get past one stage. And thats because they never took the time to get comfortable with just going through the basics and getting their dick wet enough to not care if they're getting laid "tonight" or if theyre laying every chick, or seeing immediate success.

Trust me, in trying to master specific areas of sarging, you need to be completely outcome independent in the field at all times to fully grasp and be objective about where you are as a PUA, what you need to be doing, and what you did right/wrong in the field. But the process becomes alot shorter when you already have field experience to thoroughly cover the basics.


Which leads me to: PU to get girls.

In the beginning, you need to be comfortable with just going through your sarges and interactions taking the simplest steps to bed women. Once your comfortable doing this and sex becomes less of an issue, THEN you can move on to mastering specific skills, working on perfecting your skillset.


So where do you start? Opening, duh.

But look, you dont have to be able to open every set or have 1000 openers to deal with every situation. You dont even need to perfect a routine stack. All you need: to be able to overcome approach anxiety to where you can open(literally just open your mouth and say something), and to be able to open and keep the conversation moving for a few minutes every few times you open. Thats as far as you have to master opening before you move on to the next step.


Second: Kino

You dont have to be able to take every interaction to the point where you're making out and feeling her up. All need is just enough experience to be comfortable touching her hand or arm here and there, punching her in the shoulder during or in response to a playful joke, putting your arm around her without feeling uncomfortable, and walking close enough or sitting close enough to her that incidental kino is bound to happen.


Then: Phone# Closing and Phone Game

Once you can open and hold a conversation every once in awhile while throwing in some kino here in there, all you need are some simple ways to get phone numbers to keep the interaction moving along when there are time constraints you have to deal with. Really simple way: Just hand her your phone, really, shes not stupid. And if she resists or offers you some bullshit excuse, just say "cool." Hand her your phone again lol, sometimes her bullshit is just a shit test that you can ignore.

As for talking on the phone, dont wait forever to call her back. Within in the next two days is cool. You dont have to be super funny or super interesting EVERY SINGLE SECOND your on the phone. Just relax, dont make a big deal out of it and use the call to set up a Day2. "Lets go to 'such and such' tomorrow so we can do 'this and that'." Doesnt have to be some complicated well thought out strategy to get her to meet you. Not every girl you call is gonna meet you anyway. Get over it, its no big deal. You need just enough to get a day2 here and there.


Next on the list: Day 2s

Learn how to have a normal damn conversation. Not boring, but don't act like you haven't ever talked talked to girls before. Learn to step up your kino a lil bit. Instead of asking yourself is now a good time to kiss or when should I kiss her, just shut the fuck up, move close to her, and do it. And dont shove your tongue down her throat either. Just brush your lips up against hers just enough so that she knows its a kiss but not so much that she can say you tried to rape her(lol). If you have to practice just having conversations and kino with your female friends(aka LJBFs girls) to comfortable enough to where its not weird to you, then do that.


Obviously: Isolation

Youre gonna have to find somewhere to go. Most new guys cant pull a girl into the bathroom at Waffle House to get some fornication, lol. Thats fine. If you cant take her back to your place, or you cant go to hers, or neither of you have a car, then you have to get creative. Other than that, just use dumb excuses to be alone. They can honestly be dumb. As long as you dont make a big deal out of it and you arent a weirdo, most girls if theyre into you, will be perfectly happy to check out your myspace page or play madden '07 with you for a few minutes. If all you have is the car, hell, take her to the park so you can see the ducks/fish/stars/wtf ever. It doesnt even have to be a really legit reason to be alone. Just let it be a reason, and one that you can justify when you get there. Then keep her around longer than JUST to do that one thing. Its not rocket science.


Moving on: Escalation

At some point, you have to be sexual. If anyone has been keeping up how I work, you should already have no problem projecting the fact that your sexual in some way. Kino, eye contact, conversation topics, sexual humor... list goes on. You've got her isolated now, so obviously, she's not going to make the first move. You have to be comfortable enough to just go for it at some point in time. Stop worrying about whether she likes you or is attracted to you or wants sex or whatever. If she's alone with you even though you gave her that bullshit excuse, she wants it, whether she knows it or not. Its your job to lead.


At some point: "Fuck a Calibration"

Just fuck it and go caveman. Grab her ass, pull her too you(i dont mean like a maniac, have some gentile nature about it), and kiss her. Drag her to the bedroom and basically throw her on the bed. You might even have to put her over your shoulder and carry her in there if shes not there already. Who cares. THEN back to calibrating again. Start learning the difference between "No" (stop, i dont want this, you're weird, im gonna call the cops) and "No" (we shouldnt be doing this, but I want you, but maybe im just not completely comfortable, slow down and turn me on first, press the right buttons and this will turn to yes, aka No, dont stop).


This should go without saying: Have sex.

If you havent had much sex, turn the girls you've bedded into FBs so you get that experience with little to no extra work(aka sarging a new girl). I shouldnt have to go into all the reasons why its important to have some regular sex at some point when you have no experience with women. Obviously, you cant read any information offered to you if you need an explanation.


Until you get some lays and enough experience in all of these areas to simply be comfortable with doing these, YOU SHOULD NOT BE SPENDING TONS OF APPROACHES TO MASTER ANY ONE THING. Thats basically it. You work on getting good later.

How do you judge how much experience you need with each before you move on to working on the next stages? Well, have you done the stage before it yet? Do you feel like if you have to do it again with a new girl that its possible? Do you still have anxiety when it comes to any of those things that youre currently working on that makes it very difficult to go through with it? Are you having enough success with what youre doing to feel like you can take it to the next level soon? Being able to answer all of these questions can tell you whether you need to keep working on this one particular area or move ahead with this girl and come back to it in your future sarges.

All you have to do now is just go get in the field. Once you have the basics down, then you add the bells and whistles that augment your ability to apply the basic skills. Basically, you add everything in a PUA's arsenal that can help you get laid. From social proof, to advanced techniques, to wings and pivots and everything else. When you get to the point where you understand the dynamic between you and the girls you're sarging, and you have no problem getting laid or using the principles conventially relied upon in the community, then you move on to getting good.

You can drop all the extra stuff and start focusing again on mastering the skills that make you great regardless of whatever cards you have up your sleeves(social proof, peacocking, etc).

Get to work.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Where Great Game Begins

Well, you're new to this. There is so much stuff for you to learn, so many things for you to draw from.

Where do you start? Well, yeah you gotta read this stuff and yeah, you gotta get some field experience. Other than that, what do you do? For one, you gotta learn how think for yourself, experiment for yourself, make decisions for yourself, and then take advice where you need it. This is how you learn to be a leader. And honestly, women dont want a man that CAN'T lead. But doing those things doesnt only apply to women, but to mASF and life in general. So, back to where you need to start.

#1 and this is most important. Get off the computer and get in the field. Sounds funny when I say it cuz im typing to you on a computer right now, I've even laid a few girls from you're various internet social gathering places. And thats exactly why Im telling you if you cant do it in real life, you definitely have no chance "sarging" online. Trust me, its actually the hardest way to get a girl, I promise(other than possibly in a lesbian bar). Especially when you have 0 field experience to draw from.

Now that I got that out of the way, let me tell you what most guys that are great with women, and this includes naturals and pua's alike, have in common: they're comfortable with women. This is where you want to start at. Forget about eliciting values, trance words, DHV's, routine stacks, and most anything else for awhile. You need to go out and learn to talk to women (this includes opening but at the same time dont focus solely on how to open).

You need to get comfortable talking to women that you dont know well or at all in order to make it as easy as possible to seduce them. But since that doesnt happen over night, you just need to learn how to just open you're mouth and say anything. Learn how to have a normal "non-seducing" conversation. Learn how to be social. Learn how to be cool around people in general. If you can manage this while learning some basic mASF techniques, you'll have an edge that most new guys, and even some guys who've been here a year, dont have.

http://gunwitch.fastseduction.com/

This is the link to Gunwitch Method. It costs nothing but the time it takes to read it. If where you are in learning how to meet women could be considered a baby, then GWM should almost be you're bottle. And it might not completely be for you, but its an easy way to start to get a natural feel for what you're doing. I would also say pay close attention to sexual state in the book and learn how to maintain that on a constant basis.

Another way to naturally attract women in your life is to actually have something going for yourself. If you're poor like me, get off your ass and get a job, or a better job. If you're a poor college student like me, find a way to make some money on the side when you have time on top of getting a PT job, or get girls to take care of you or whatever.

Dont have a car? Save up as much money as you can to get one. Live at home? Work towards moving out. Look for roomates, save up a lil bit of money every week. Maybe even, and it may sound horrible, get an income based apartment till you can get on your feet.

Start lifting weights. Find you a nice 30-40 minute routine you can run through 3 days a week. Start eating healthier. Lose or gain weight to get a better physique. Learn how to play guitar or piano, or even sing, so theres something interesting in youre life other than school work and girls. Even though theres not much more interesting in my life than school work and girls, I dont have the same problems you have, so dont argue, lol.

If you can't dress, spend some money on some nice clothes and shoes. Dont care how you get it, even if its only a piece a week. Get you a nice shave, great haircut, nice cologne. Get you some friends that are great with women, who like to go out, and who are popular, even if they only fit one of those descriptions. One player friend, one party friend, and one cool social friend is enough to learn how to apply each of those qualities to yourself.

Get rid of your loser/girless/average frustrated chump/virgin-not-by-choice friends at least until you're independant enough to do this stuff on youre own regardless of whether or not the encourage or discourage you. Start finding things about yourself that you're good at or are interesting. Learn how to talk about that stuff with other people without being a brag/ass about it.

And defintely learn how to relax. Dont put so much into seeing success immediately and focus more on simply improving, whether it be a little bit at a time or making giant strides.

Everything I said is hard work, sure. But its better than wasting youre life away on the computer, never improving, and wonder why you never get a girl.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesnt keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Being Assertive and Decisive (Trust Me, Its Important)

How are you guys doing? Me, I'm doing fine thanks for asking, yall can be so sweet sometimes. Anyway, I'm Nashvilleplayboy (obviously, from Nashville) and no I'm not a Master pua so I cant train you guys to be awesome seducers (well, I guess I could but still, dont ask, lol). But I do have a new found appreciation for the newer guys as of late, so I'll try to hit some general areas that most new guys need help with for awhile.

I've been reading up on the things that newer guys in the community have questions about and I've been seeing alot of the same thing. "What opener would work best when...? Im in a club and this hot girl looks at me, do I open? How do I open? Is this a shit test? How do deal with this shit test?" And so on and so forth. By the way, I'm not bashing anybody just in case somebody said this specifically. But feel free to read through fastseduction.com/discussion on the beginner board and you'll come to see the same thing that I see. Most of these guys have the same exact issue. So how are opening, shit tests, and everything else all related? They're all dealing with seduction? Lol, yeah thats it, but the issue is with guys being unable to be assertive and making decisions on their own.

I understand that everyone starts somewhere, I at some point and time had alot of the same issues most new guys have. But I tell you that you dont have to come to ASF or me for every single issue you have.

You don't need guys to tell how to make every single move you make to get the girl. You dont need somebody to tell you what to wear. Go to the store, spend some money and buy some cool clothes. You dont need a guy to tell you how to move a girl from the living room to your bedroom. Just tell her to come play x-box with you, or jerk off to porn(joking... or am I?), or whatever it is you do in your bedroom when normal (non target) girls come over and go in your bed room. You dont need a guy to tell you if what she said is a shit test and how to pass it. You shouldnt even take the girl seriously enough to care if its a shit test cuz if you fail, oh well. Theres 3 billion more girls on the planet for you to sarge.

And this isnt about automatically knowing the right answer or thing to do or even common sense. Its about learning how to be self sufficient, how to be comfortable with yourself even when your doing something new, and how to be the "yourself" that girls tell you to be except this is the one that they will actually like. At some point, you need to learn how to make social decisions on your own. Youre gonna have to experiment and see what fits you. You're going to have to learn to be a dominant man in the field without someone telling you specific things to do or say.

All of this isnt to keep you from coming to me or anyone else with questions. I dont really care. All of this is to give you qualities that will make you attractive to women, naturally. And it starts with learning to make up your own mind. You gotta decide for yourself what you want to do. And this in turn will move you into a position to lead. And thats what women want. A man thats a leader. A man that will lead them. A man that will lead them to bed and anywhere else that he wants to go. And although you learn opening, kinosthetics, and isolation, you might not learn how to lead from a message board.


--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesnt keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

The Keys to Opening

Some guys have trouble opening. Sometimes even guys who've been in the game for awhile. You might always need a flashy or really great opener. Some of you just cant even manage to walk up to the girl to have the opportunity to open. Doesn't particularly matter.

Here's the biggest secret to opening girls. You're opener doesn't even really matter.

The point of an opener and im sure this has probably been said before, is to get you and the target (set, whatever) talking. Thats all you need. You can have the greatest opener in the world and never get anywhere without focusing on getting better at everything that happens after the opener.

Honestly, you start talking to a girl in McDonalds that you've never seen before. Do you honestly think she cares about you're best friend's jealous girl or whether you believe magic spells work or not(yeah, im picking on Neil but just to make a point). I'll answer for you. No. She really doesnt. That nor any other opener are likely to ever get you laid on their own.

Honestly, it doesnt even really matter what you say, so long its halfway interesting enough to just get her to stand there and hear what you're saying. Especially if you're handsome, or have a nice cut and shave, wearing a real cool fit/necklace/belt(aka peacocking as to give her an easy outlet to express interest), and anything thing else that you can easily to make you seem as if you have the possibility of being interesting.

Lol, I know it sound like I'm saying opening is easy. It is. Not every time though. We've all gotten ignored, or that mean looking face like "why is he talking to me", or even called out of our name. But sometimes it goes so smoothly that we wonder why we even worried about the opener. And when you start to see opening as less of a big deal, you realize that your opener doesn't make that much of a difference.

Once you open a few girls and it goes great without having that great opener you can start to focus on getting better at closing girls as opposed to getting better at opening. Its almost the same way with sex. Once you lay a few girls and the sarge goes so smoothly that you wonder why you thought it was hard, you can give that aprehension that you had and focus on getting better.

And believe it or not, closing girls can almost feel easy. It may be extremely hard to get every girl, but if you spend the time in field and gaming girls for more than just 10 minutes and actually try to hold sets and extract targets, you'll come across many that just fall in your lap. And if anything, opening is the same way as sex. Once you approach, you'll run into at least a percentage of girls that are just easy to open.

Once you learn how to flirt and tease girls and lead conversations, the opener wont be what attracts women to you. How you interact with them will.

Opening is by far the easiest thing you can do if you can get past your fear of approaching, or your anxiety, or whatever else. I'm not saying its easy to walk up to women you dont know on a regular basis. What I am saying is that openers will soon be the last thing you think about after approaching enough girls because they're not THAT important.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

An Introduction to Dating, Pick up, and... Myself

Hi.

I'm Playboy. In some circles, I'm called a Pick-up Artist. If you don't have any clue what that is, there was a fairly popular show on VH1 entitled(ironically) The Pick-Up Artist. It consisted of a guru of sorts in the area of dating(Mystery as he is known in his circles), along with his coaches, changing some average guys with poor dating skills into guys who excel at meeting women. Through eight episodes with varying lessons and challenges, these guys basically learn from "the best", how to be better with women.

Simply put, I could describe the pua(as we so affectionately call the pick-up artist) as a professional dater. Be it to have extracurricular activities, or a trophy girlfriend, or to have better relationships, or even to find a worthy girl to settle down with, its practically a professional dater.

So where do I fit in in that list? Thats for me to know, and you to mull over, lol. All in all, I'm not the average pua. I'm not a player(although I'd be a good one), Im not looking to put notches on my belt(too easy), I'm not a guru(though for some reason ive had a few guys telling me to write a book), I'm not looking to settle down(though I welcome any woman who thinks she can tame me), and I don't need a boost to my ego(it is already thoroughly inflated).

So what am I looking for? Nothing. Nada. I just live my life and do what I love. When I come across something I like, I take. Past that, I like to entertain and share with others hoping they might learn something maybe about life, love, themselves, whatever.

So you have a clue what a pick-up artist is. How do you become one, how do you learn all this crazy dating stuff? My best advice to you is to get in the field. In other words, just go out in real life and actively try to meet women. There is no better place to learn real life applicable social skills than real life applicable social situations. Next in line is just to find people who are good at what you want to do then pick them apart and study them(in a friendly way of course). We call those naturals in the world of pick up artists.

There a plenty of "dating coaches", gurus, pickup artists and the like out there that charge money for books, seminars, workshops, live instructional bootcamps, and the like. But even if I ever started charging to teach a guy how to improve with women, I will always recommend the most useful resource I know, and it costs nothing but your time and study. Its practically where Pick-up(at least as a community) originated . Its where alot of current gurus, dating coaches, authors, tv shows, and all, have their roots... mASF.

As in moderated.Alt.Seduction.Fast, which you can find on www.fastseduction.com.Its message board in an online community that has everything you will ever need to know to learn about being successful with women that you would struggle to learn on your own. I simply have found no greater resource when it comes to learning about dating.

As far as what you'll find there, it all depends on how open a mind you have and how comfortable you are with dropping ideas that society has ingrained into your head through years of television, music, movies, family, and school. Even if being a pick up artist isnt appealing, its damn interesting to watch a ton of guys struggling with women and dating look for advice and get it from some of the most competent guys ever.

On my way out the door, I'll fill you in about my tag. I know some guys who date plenty of girls. Plenty of cute girls. But I look at these guys and think, "what a loser." Alot of money, a bunch of girls, a nice car... those things dont make you a great person. Anyone can steal and cheat their way into money, and guy can lie and tell a girl what she wants to hear, and a car is just a piece of metal that burns liquified oranisms that are thousands of years old. But how many guys made their money honestly and up front? How many guys can tell a girl how things really are and be themselves and STILL get the girl? How many guys do you know that dont need to brag about their car, dont need an expensive car, or dont even need to have a car at all, because they are genuinely great people regardless of what they have?

Which guy would you rather be?

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesnt keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP