A Very Important Lesson About Living Life

What can you learn from Virginia Tech... and no I'm not plugging for them.

33 kids woke up one morning content with the fact that it was going to be just another day. Those 33 kids didnt get to chance to wake up another morning. Do you think if those kids had known a month ago that they were gonna die that week, they wouldve spent that month pounding out their days doing the same old thing? Probably living a life they didnt even want to live. Going to school to get a degree to do something they didnt even want to do. Putting what they want on hold to do the things things they were supposed to do.

This is gonna sound cold but, those kids are gone and as sad as that is, theres not a thing anyone can do about it. But I can guarantee that if they had known it was gonna happen, they would have lived life alot differently.

I know this sounds like some BS high school guidance counselor crap. Im not that guy. What I want to tell you is, you gotta start living your life like you wont always be here. Dont be the guy who's 70 yrs old, laying on his deathbed, looking back on his life, and cant honestly be satisfied with everything he's done. I want you guys to take a long hard look at yourselves. You have to start figuring out what you want. Not what other people tell you to want. Not what society tells you to want. Not what would make other people happy. Not what would just get you by or pay the bills, not what would give you a ton of money to get crap you dont want or need.

Figure out what you honestly want. From PU, from your women, from your life, and for yourself. And I want you to go after that. If you have to quit your job, if you have to work a crappy one, if you have to quit school, if you have to go to school, do it. If you have to piss off your parents, your friends, your gf, whatever, to do the things you honestly want, then they'll just have to be pissed off for awhile. Man, you guys have to start living for yourself and making your own way. And you cant waste time doing it because honestly, you dont know how much time you have.

And when you figure out what you want, and chase that regardless of what others do or say, you set an example for others and you'll be more satisfied with yourself and your life than any dollar sign, and HB, and amount of stuff, than anything can make you.

And when you learn to do what you want and make a way to be successful, you need to share that with success with others. And this way, not only do you change your life, you change the life of others.

Why is this important? Because this is being a leader. And I know you're probably getting tired of hearing it. I dont care. You need it.

We come here searching for the secret to get women. The right techniques, the right lines, the right methods, the right moves... we come here to learn how to do what we want. But that shouldnt apply only to women, that should apply to life. Alot of lesson learned from what we do here transfer over into other parts of our life. Its the same with being a leader. But when you learn to lead in every other aspect of your life, people naturally follow.

Women naturally follow.

Get off your ass, learn to live the life you want and show other people they can be happy doing the same, and having the woman that you want in your life will cease to become an issue. How to get rid of the women that you dont want, will.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Dont Rely on Girls Chasing You... Go Get Them

I've been pouring through alot of old stuff I've written up. And by old, I mean, like years ago. And I came across something relevant to what Im seeing alot of now:

Guys wanting girls to chase them and trying to build their game around that.

And it happens from time to time. Occassionally, girls may approach you. And from time to time, yeah, you can get a girl to chase you into bed. But for the most part, girls dont chase until after theyve invested something important in you... like sex.

Relying on women chasing you to get laid is just being too lazy to step up to the plate and lead. Most women NEED to be led. Lead the conversation, lead them to bed, lead them into a relationship, lead them everywhere. Its a fundamental need that most women display because they simply dont have it in them to lead themselves AND be happy, at least for the most part.

Anyway, on the original material.


"Every girl simply isnt going to chase you, no matter how solid your game is, no matter how attracted or comfortable with you she is, no matter how strong your frame is. What I can say from my experience is that IF you can get a girl to chase you, then most of the work is done for you. I'm not just talkin about sex, but that, and relationships, and her doing anything she can to keep you from cooking to paying your bills to practically raping you while you try to go through your daily activities. And after the point she starts to chase you, it requires very little skill. Just some frame control and the ability to lead.

Another thing I have seen is, some girls literally will not chase you if there was a gun to the back of their head. Their form of chasing is equivalent to "God I want him, cant he see it? I went through all of this trouble: to make it so we're alone together; putting on this sexy underwear/not putting on any underwear with this skimpy outfit; got rid of my friends so he can do whatever he wants; throwing him all these signals and saying all of these sexual innuendos etc... WHEN IS HE GOING TO TAKE CHARGE?"

Some girls simply aren't going to lead you to the bedroom. For most of them, its not in their nature or ability. The extent of their "chasing" is simply sitting there putting up as little "resistance" as they think is possible, and this is regardless of anti-slut defense. Most girls simply can't take the responsibility of doing things to disarm their ASD, they can't take the responsibility of making the direct move that leads to sex, and they cant take the responsibility for leading and taking the initiative.

Anyonethat RELIES on girls doing any of these things is going to severely inconsistent. But a guy who is flexible enough to account for these issues regardless of who takes the responsibility of leading or even chasing is going to be very solid. Sometimes she will chase you all the way to the bed, hop on top of you, and take your penis from you. And thats great, some of us dream about every pick-up going that route. Most of the time though, if a girl is going to chase you, its only going to be to a point. You have to have the insight and ability to know when to stop trying to be chased and start leading directly toward an outcome. And alot of times, the most the girl is going to do is give you green lights at every intersection.

You want some easy consistency, learn to game through any situation where the girl wants to make it easy for you. You want to be good, learn to game through those situations as well as when she's not trying to make it easy for you. Know when to plow through... know when to play it cool.

One last thing, no situation is going to go the exact same as any other. No interaction is going to be you solely leading and her solely following. Solid game usually is not going to be 100% direct and 0% indirect or the other way around for that matter. There is always going to be some balance. Balance between the level of attraction and the level of comfort. Balance between the necessity to lead, and opportunity to let the interaction flow. Balance between having to qualify and having to validate. Whats more important than finding one straightforward way to game is to find a congruent pattern of action that leaves the interaction in your favor no matter what kind of balance is needed."

When women chase you, take advantage of the situation. When they dont, you step up and make it happen. Theres nothing wrong with, no supplication in, and nothing close to "chasing" in directing, leading, and pursuing women. It just depends on how you lead.


--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

I Love My Women

What most people wont teach you about PU is that its not ALL about getting ass, or getting girls, or even getting into relationships. Its not completely about building a skillset or perfecting your game.

PU is about balance.

Hard as it is to explain, possibly even harder to see, its always about finding a balance. And in the simplest sense, its about finding a balance in your life. A balance between molding your self into the person you want to be(a better description would be to grow) and building the type of lifestyle that you want for yourself.

But hey, I'm not going to preach to you. I know most guys come here solely to get laid. In actuality, this may not be all that they truly want, but this is where many guys set goals. So if youre wondering, "Hey, is NVP ever gonna explain to me how I can pull girls with this?" yes, yes I am. Just keep in mind, this isnt for everyone. Only for those who can accept it.

So I lied when I said Im not gonna preach to you, lol, but hell, learn a little bit about life that will lead you to success wherever you take it while learning how to pick up a woman at the same time.

I know alot of guys look up to "our" (as in the community's) gurus. In all fairness, though it may appear otherwise, I do the same. I can appreciate the ability of the guys who are the top. I can identify with Gunwitch. I can understand Juggler. I can appreciate Mystery. These and others have contributed alot to the community. And theres the age old argument, who's material is the best? I know, I know, but truth be told, the best material is simply what you can identify with. Solid material is solid. While they preach from different standpoints, theres many different ways to effectively paint the same picture.

But one reason I hold disdain for many "gurus" is that some teach that, "This is EVERYTHING that makes me successful with women. Follow this and you can become just as successful as I am." And not to pick on him, but I have to use Mystery as an example. Yeah you have the M3 model, and VAH, and all the workshops that he teaches, but dont think that he "teaches" everything that makes him successful. If you only master everything in his methodology, his material, his structure, and mimic his implementation, you'll never be as successful as he is nor as successful as you could be.

Mystery, Gunwitch, Juggler, etc... theyve all spent years... YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS... mastering some principles that you cant copy with material and structure alone. These guys have spent years simply learning to be comfortable around women. If you never make TRULY being comfortable with and around women a priority, you will never see the full potential of MM or any other method or material for that matter. It simply cant happen other than by choice or accident.

With that said, I'd like to tell you something about me that makes me successful(I know, I cant compete the with guys I mentioned, lol, but theyve got thousands of hours of field experience over me). Something that defines me long before I even begin an interaction, or isolate the chick, or even long after the close.

A major element in my success with women is that I love my women. I know youre thinking to yourself "this guy practices and teaches other guys how to get into bed with women, who is he to tell me I need to love women?"

Lol.

Im not saying Im in love with every chick I meet, or even that I love every woman that I keep around longer than one night. Im saying that in general, I love women. No hidden motives, no misleading guises, I honestly love women. I appreciate them, their physical beauty, their personalities, their quirks, their strong points and their flaws alike. And in this game, this is one of the few areas where balance plays little influence. To get really good, youre either going have to throroughly despise women because of their many flaws, or deeply love women in spite of them.

And Im not going to tell you or teaching you to hate women. Sure, being misogynistic can help you be a good player at times and help you find ways to take advantage of situations that will get a woman in bed. But it cant help you be a good leader at all. You can go through life lying to and misleading women, or punishing them for every flaw they have, or taking from them whatever it is you want. Honest truth, alot of women will accept it. But living like that is empty for most guys. You dont have to go that route to get girls if you dont want to.

And at the same time, most women NEED to be led. When it comes to men, sex, and relationships, women in general simply do not have it in themselves to lead an interaction in a manner that will benefit not only herself, but give the two of you what you want.

Many people debate over who's responsibility it is to lead. Alot of guys say that its not their job to take responsibility for her happiness. And thats true, you're only as responsible as you choose to be. But most guys want better quality and quantity in their choice of women. And again, if you want to step into the big leagues, to be good, youre going to have take alot of that responsibility away from her. You truly have to step up and lead. But you're only responsible as long as she follows.

If she constantly keeps things from moving the direction youre trying to take them and she's unhappy, you simply cant be held accountable for that. You cant cater to every woman who's too stubborn to do whats best for her. Women sabatoge themselves alot of the time, and thats not your fault. Now when YOU are the one who messes it up, theres no one to blame but you, and thats fine. You have to be comfortable with that. Its a part of being a great guy. Not necessarily a great PUA, but being a great and sincere person can help in making you a better pick-up artist.

I have women tell me how great I am. They tell me I'm wonderful. How I make such a difference in their life. How they're better off because they've met me. How theres nothing that makes them happier. My women love me. And if I never banged a new chick again, I wouldnt trade the feelings I get from pleasing my women and them pleasing me.

And I cant make anyone want this, but for me, its not ALWAYS about some ass. Sure I love some no strings attached fun at times just like any other guy. Then, at times, I want other things that women have to offer as well. And I know when you get better with women, sometimes its hard to view them as more than just cheap sex. I've been there. But at the same time, some women can give you great sex AND be great friends and turn into great relationships, and be great loves of your life. And there are times when this can make me 10 times happier than the hottest, or the freakiest, or the "whatever-it-is-iest that you can think of" girl can make me.

Despite what it may sound like, I am completely against supplication. The clearest way I can put that is, never do anything for a woman just because you think it will get you somewhere, or make her like you, or get her in bed with you. Thats not where I'm gpomg at all.

And I'm not talking in the realm of PU, but in how you treat women, and the things that you'll do for them, especially regardless of how they treat you. I wont sacrifice my dignity to get laid. I wont lose my self-respect just to make a girl happy to get her in bed. And that in itself is part of loving women. I have too much respect for myself to do that, sure. But I KNOW that women dont need that, its unhealthy for the both of us, and I cant lead them in the right direction by doing so.

You'd probably think that having beliefs like this would lead to having oneitis more often. But the exact opposite is true. I dont want anything from these women. Im not looking to take anything. Im not trying "to get" sex. Its more along the lines of giving. All I do is give give give. I give them something to smile about, to enjoy. I make things fun and interesting for them. I appreciate them and show them how to appreciate themselves. I add nothing but quality to their lives. And in asking nothing in return, they respond in kind.

They add more to my life. They give to me. They WANT to make me happy and do for me what I do for them. And thats in the nature of a woman who's being led. To follow in like fashion. And yes, this translates into sex. Alot of times, sex isnt something I have to convince a girl to give. Its something that the both of us share. I'm a sexual person, I'm comfortable with that, and she accepts it that plainly.

At the same time, I make her feel comfortable with being a sexual person, because she is. Women want to be accepted and want to be sexual at the same time, so I make that ok for her, which leads to her WANTING sex. Its not some goal that Im trying to get to, its a natural progression of the interaction between us.

Granted, I couldnt be so successful with women without the PU skills. But thats the way it works, everything has its place. But you cant focus only on the skills and never build any of the qualities that the skills emulate and hope to have the level of satisfaction that you want. Theres simply more to it than JUST the material. And so many guys run away from this because they're looking for a quick fix, they want the magic bullet. And you need to hear this,

There is none.

The material is what it is. It demonstrates whatever trait or principle it was designed to as the event arises or it handles the logistics of a situation. And then you need more than that to fill in the gaps that the material doesnt cover. And that goes back to my first point about balance.

Although I wish I could, I cant teach a guy to love women. Its a choice, a process, a lifestyle, that one person really cant train another to do. You have to choose that, work towards it, and cultivate it yourself. In the same manner that Juggler or Mystery cant "teach" how to be comfortable with women, its something you have to build.


Something just for yall right here...

I love my women, and they love me. And that leads me to more opportunity with more women than I have the time for.

I try never to let any situation, any woman, or anything about her take away from how comfortable I am with women(her), how comfortable I am with being sexual, and how comfortable I am with myself.

Even more, I lead women where I want to go, but not just to get what I want, but to the benefit of us both. And none of this could I do if I didnt truly appreciate women.


--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Challenging a woman... Its necessary to be Great With Women

et me say, I'm not the the greatest PUA ever. Im no mPUA or any kind of guru. I've met guys who don't know what mASF is and have never heard of a PUA who are better with women than I am.

That said, I've slept with plenty of women. Plenty of women have been in love with me, infatuated with me, excited or intrigued or engaged by me. Though I''m not the best, I have success with women. Thank yall for being so interested, lol.

It appears to me that often in this Community, we tend to put too much emphasis on "what to do" with women, when we should be putting most of our emphasis on "who we are" and where our focus is.

I know, for almost every guy on the planet, it sounds SOOOO great to hear that you can get pull girls using a bunch of lines. Some of you have likely tried Speed Seduction. Its captivating to think that you can seduce a woman with just a handful of patterns. There are eleventy(lol) different methods out there and just as many gurus for learning how to seduce a woman. Theres even the advice that people in general give you. "Be yourself, be nice , be courteous, be a gentleman..." so on and so forth. There are so many options to choose when it comes to how you should approach women.

Ill tell you this, no matter what lines, patterns, methods/gurus, advice you use to try to attract women into your life, you can only "do" so much. At some point, who you are is going to show through. Whether that be 1st class chump, or the smoothest player around, who you are is going to begin to have much more control over what you do than your conscious mind can cover.

You can use all the material in the world, best routines and all, and even if you're successful with that, you'll only become dependent on the material to work for you.

Now, dont get me wrong, there are plenty of things you can DO that can begin to change who you are. You can be sexual with women, and this in turn will give you opportunity to be more comfortable with being sexual. And that will lead to you making women feel more comfortable with you. Because women want a man who's not afraid of his sexuality, who's not afraid to express it around women, and who wants her in a sexual way.

Take that as a hint.

But since we're on the subject of what we can DO, I'll get to my point. A woman by nature(as in being trained by society) will try to impose her will on any man at any given time. She's going to ask you to buy her drinks, buy her dinner, take her places, do favors for her, listen to all her problems... basically, she's going to ask you to drop your masculinity for awhile and serve her.

In and of themselves, these things aren't necessarily bad. The problem is that most men have nothing going for themselves to attract a woman other than attempting to BUY her affection or sex with gifts and favors. We call that supplication. Its a definite no.

I know alot of you guys are brand new to pick up. I know even more of you are probably struggling or have always struggled with women. I know many of you have had little to no success with women. Thats fine. But I'm assuming since you've been here, you've been reading up, and doing a few approaches, maybe even have some basic skill when it comes to interacting with women.

And maybe I'm taking it for granted that you're in the field approaching often, it can be difficult at first. Doesn't matter. I'm sure you know women, hell you have a sister, a mom, a cousin, classmates, co-workers, something, so no one has any excuse why they cant do what I'm about to tell you.

If you cant tell a woman no and then offer something that YOU want her to have, then you cant expect to sleep with a woman who tells you she wants a relationship(or money, or dinner, or dates, or a friend or whatever).

Plain and simple, YOU HAVE TO CHALLENGE WOMEN. If you're a pushover, if you supplicate, if you do all those things I listed earlier, if you give her only what she asks for and not what YOU want(and thats really what women want, a man that takes what he wants), then you will NEVER be successful with women.

I know the Community has a tendency to stress success with women as lays, but im not that shallow. I mean in the grander scheme of things, getting a gf, laying a girl, laying multiple women, having multiple relationships, having a woman that likes you for you and not what you can provide, or having women respect you in general. If you cant say no to the passing fickle whims that women have and follow up with telling her what YOU want her to have or hell, just what you want, success is impossible. Women simply do not respond to men who fall on their backs every time she says roll over.

So... what exactly do I want you to do to get this ingrained in your head?

I want you to tell 20 women, "No." I don't care if its your mom, your boss, your girlfriend(or wife, lol), whoever. And then, I want you to offer up a suggestion in return. And I want you to be a damn man about it. You don't have to be a jerk, or an ass, you can do it with a sense of humor. But what you wont do is do it timidly or be scared about it.

If a girl wants you to buy her a drink, tell her "No, but if she behaves you might give her a kiss on the cheek later."

If your mom asks you to help her with something, tell her "No, but ill get dad(or find you a boyfriend) to help you since I love you so much."

If a girl asks you for answers to a test or help with her homework tell her, "No, but if you cook me a nice dinner(or give me a nice back rub) I might let you be my study buddy(lol, yeah, i'm trying to set you up for some)."

Now I shouldn't have to spell everything out for you. I'm sure alot of you guys are smart. If the options I gave you don't fit a particular situation, then COME UP WITH SOMETHING ON YOUR OWN. And depending on the situation, you don't want to be inappropriate. If its your mom, obviously you don't wanna be an ass and definitely not sexual. If its your boss, don't "not do" anything that would get you fired. If its you're wife(lol), just tell her ass no over and over. Use a little sense.

And in case you didn't notice, in a couple of those examples, I did something very special. Sure, no woman will respect a man that is push over and does every single thing she asks and is always afraid to disagree. Sure, women want a man thats not afraid to say whats on his mind, go after what he wants, and take it when he wants it. But also, women VALUE a man when they have to invest in him. A woman thats not willing to do even small things for you, will probably not be willing to sleep with you. Offer women the opportunity to show compliance, and offer a reward if they do. And that offer of a reward doesn't have to always be verbalized.

If you can do this with 20 women, this alone, I promise that seducing a woman will eventually become second nature. In essence, being talented with women is simply being the type of guy that you honestly want to be, while at the same time, being decisive about what you want, making her feel comfortable about having sex with you, and her investing in you, whether that be time, attention, cooking, back rubs, sex, whatever.

And if you can do this, then you can progress to where you want to be with women.


--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

The Secret To EVERY Top Guys Success

In this community, we have a tendency to idolize the guys with inhumane success with women. Thats cool, I'm not knocking it. Its just like basketball, or football, or anything else where talent can be compared and it can become competitive. The guys with success are idolized.

But in no other "field" have I seen where regardless of your background, your past, your handicaps in the same area, your demographic, your race, or even your age, the admirers can at some point(even in a relatively short amount of time) have success in comparison of the guys they look up to.

No 30 yr old, balding, out of shape white guy is going to be the next Michael Jordan. No guy living in his moms basement(no offense) with zero baseball experience, money, or connections is gonna turn into the next A. Rod. Its not gonna happen. But here, we have the opportunity, even the privilege, to pick apart the best of the best at what they do, make it a part of ourselves, and turn our lives into whatever it is we want. And compared to the time MJ took just practicing his jump shot, and the time A.Rod spent swinging his bat, the time we spend learning PU until we're successful is just a drop in the bucket.

And so its become a continual habit of guys in the community to pick apart guys that are better than themselves, learn what makes them tick, and apply it to themselves to reach the same level.

Every guy wants to be Gunwitch. Every guy wants to be Mystery. Every guy wants to be Juggler. And to a lesser extent, guys want to be Style or Tyler Durden(other than Style being rediculously rich, I cant understand why guys would want to copy "can I get a female opinion on something"). With as much success as theyve had, I'll tell you now, I want to be all those guys rolled up into one(not in a gay way, lol).

But listen, I dont care if you're a "Guru" all the way down to clueless newb or worse, the things that make the greats great are the same things that make the chumps, well, chumps.

In what the PUAs give advice on, in what we get from our field experience, in what we see in naturals and others who have success, there are three categories that everything we learn about PU fall under. When it comes to women, they define how successful you are and how successful you can be, as well as how much of a chump you are and how long you will stay that way. If you take any one of these away from me, or even Razorjack, Gunwitch, Mystery, Juggler, Woodhaven, Dimitri(and I mention them for their methods), or anyone else, they're gonna be chumps just like the guys out there that we as a community tend to look down upon. I dont care what kind of guru or teacher you are, your own method, regardless of how many LRs it generates, wont get you girls without these things.

The three principles that everything we learn falls under are this: being comfortable with women, being comfortable with being sexual, and being comfortable with yourself.

I dont care how many routines you stack, how many lines you memorize, how much you read on good BL, how much you practice kino, or how many approaches you do every day. If what you're doing isn't adding to one of these three categories, then you're wasting your time and your not going to get any better until you start doing something else.

You can memorize every stage of MM, quote it word for word, go into the field and watch Mystery himself in action, point out what he's doing and never be able to have even a measurable amount of success if you're lacking in even one of those areas. If you're not comfortable being sexual, I promise, no matter what routine you throw at her, she's never going to go into a sexual state. How is she gonna want sex with a guy who doesn't even feel like being sexual is normal. I don care if you have a million lines to carry the convo to bed, the minute you run out or stop talking(or even mid sentence), something is going to give. You cant fake 100% of everything 100% of the time. You cant fill in all the blanks that your material doesnt cover. Its not gonna happen.

Guys think that if they fill their game with bells and whistles(material, peacocking, c/f, etc.) and never get their issues solved, that they can meet, lay, and keep the chicks in life that they really want. I'm telling you that no matter how much you change your actions, if you're not building those three principles at the same time, you'll never have more than surface success. For example, approach artists. I shouldn't even have to go further.

This stuff should actually be a given. Guys post on being "On" and being on autopilot, we sit here and pick apart Guru after Guru to see what makes him great, we question every guy that posts a LR to figure out what made it happen. Hell, if you haven't figured out that the most important part of what we do is comfort, then it doesn't matter what they tell you or what you learn from them. You wont have near as much success as them doing the same exact thing.

And when I say comfort, Im not talking about as part of rapport. Thats easy. Childs play game. What guy cant build a little comfort with a chick? I'm talking about the hard part, the ability for you to be completely comfortable yourself. Comfortable around women, comfortable enough to have a conversation with a woman, comfortable when the conversation dies, comfortable when she's shit testing you to hell and back and even when she's not, comfortable whether you're just caressing her or dragging her to the bed, comfortable when she up and admits she wants to fuck, or comfortable when she never even gives you a hint.

This is what it boils down to. Being comfortable. In your own skin. Being comfortable enough to not worry so much about making the right moves, thats the right move. Being comfortable with women, with being sexual, and with yourself. And it doesn't happen over night. Yes it takes alot work. You need field experience. You need to come here and read. You need to work on your frame. You need to do alot of things, but if you're spending time doing something thats not adding to those levels of comfort, you're wasting time, stagnating, and probably wondering why "this isn't working" or "I cant get better."

You hear how guys talk about, "I said everything right, i made all the right moves, but still got blown out." Saying everything right and making all the right moves aren't even close to everything you need to get the girl(even more, arent always necessary), especially when you're looking to net new girls all the time. HOW did you say everything that you said, HOW did you do everything that you did? Theres tons of girls that only need ONE HINT of a lack of comfort in those three areas before your shit is a wrap.

And this is the real inner game we search for as we get better at PU. This is the solid foundation that puts all our material together for us so that when we hit the field, "I'm on." And I'm not expecting every guy to have this handled. I dont have those areas mastered myself, but I know what I'm doing, I know where I need to work, and I'm working on improving those every time im doing anything. But if you aren't making progress in those areas, then you aren't making progress.

Again, guys come into the community wondering why they cant get laid, why their routines aren't working, why they get blown out by AMOGS, why loser AFCs have more women than them, but then, they aren't even comfortable enough being around women to JUST HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION. LOL, its a shame. And then when guys tell them they need to just learn how to sit there and talk to a girl about any random bs, they question the advice and wonder how that's going to help them get laid. If you're not comfortable enough with yourself and with women to have a normal conversation, you're definitely not going to have what it takes to get her into bed with you or more. Not gonna happen.

Guys get LJBFed by a girl and talk about how special she is, how different she is, how its not oneitis. We tell them to GFTOW and we're the bad guys. There must be something they can say/do to change her mind. LOL. What advice can we give you when a girl see's its obvious that you're not even remotely aware of the principles I'm talking about. You need to be working one being comfortable in general before you start worrying about what to do with a specific girl that basically said you cant have her. We know it, she knows it, and you're the only one who thinks the flaw is in the method/material/strategy, lol. Come on now.

We argue about why canned material doesn't work and why it does. Why direct/indirect is better. Why natural game is the only way to go. Other than the fact that at some point, you have to go direct(doesnt matter how you open cuz openers dont get you laid), none of that shit makes any difference. What matters is that nothing you say or do should take away from those three qualities. Nothing you say or do should ever hint a lack of any one of those qualities. I'm not saying that you have to be perfect every time, but what I'm saying is, the stronger you are in those areas, the less you "need" your material to work for you because you're going to be doing so many other things that send the right signals and say the right things that it hardly matters what you say.

Call it on. Call it tight inner game. Call it great method. Call it whatever you want when you see it, but it starts with those three. With everything we have here, guys can and do get better. But imagine how much time guys waste(myself included) looking for the right method, or great lines, or material or anything else when they dont even have these basic principles covered or even just im mind.

I've read and heard tons of stuff on fixing your inner game issues. And I also hear as well as provide the same old arguments from time to time. How will this make me better? How will this get me laid? How does this really help my inner game? Look at you're own experience. From you're first understanding of this community(or even further back to your first interest in women) until now. If you haven't grown in your success, theres money on the table saying you haven't grown in any of those areas. And for the guys who's lives have taken 360's, everything theyve done to get better can be summed up into one(or all) of those areas.

You can even be more specific. When your level of success with women rises or falls or just levels out, you were gaining or losing or simply not improving your level of comfort. Honestly, look back. I can see in myself the same thing.

"Why you dont suck at PU, YOU SUCK AT LIFE!" doesn't have anything to do with the idea that having your life together makes women attracted to you. There are all kinds of guys with money, expensive cars, great jobs, and huge houses dont get laid. There are tons of guys in debt, walking, jobless, and staying with their mom that do. But if you need to change anyone of those situations to feel more comfortable with yourself, its either going to take you changing your situation or changing the way you look at life before you can be successful with women in the long run.

Its not the money or the materials that make you or break you. Its you. Its how much you let that shit matter when you do or dont have it that can make you or break you. Its always about you. Women are always about you. Success is always about you. And you can make all that happen when you have your head together.

There are plenty of people who are going to teach you techniques, routines, lines, and methods to use to get laid. Thats fine, most guys who come here are going to need alot of that stuff. Not many guys are going to show you the best way to make use of all of that or how not to really rely on it. This is what makes the guys who a great at what they do, great at what they do.

I once told a guy that this these three simple things are the entire premise for being good with women, just not in so many words. And the way I put it, I dont think I could've made it simpler.

Damn near word for word:

"I've found that anything productive that we can learn in this community almost always fall under these three principles. Being comfortable with women, being comfortable with being sexual, and being comfortable with yourself. If you lack anyone of those, hell if me, or ijjjji, or TD, Mystery, or Gunwitch lack anyone of those, success with women isn't gonna happen.

But even more than that, they all feed off of each other. If you're lacking in one department, you can feel like you're not successful in life. Everything you do in regards to learning PU and getting good with women should fall under improving one of those three categories. If its not, then its time to start adding more to what you're doing or doing something else. Even in your life outside of this community, if your job, your school, your hobbies, your general life, if its not adding to how comfortable you are with yourself(including being happy), then you need to start making some changes.

You want the path to inner game? There you go. I've opened the doors for you, all you gotta do is walk the walk. And its not easy. Im not a master of having my life together. But I've found as long as I'm making progress in what I want to be doing, I'm far happier than any HB10 or any handful of money can make me. Your real inner-game."

Your real inner-game.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

NVP's Method for New Guys

If you haven't read my first post about where new guys should start, here it is.

New Guys... Start Here


Now that you have that down, its time to start adding more to it.

Nutrition - First off, time to start lifting weights if you arent already. Find you a nice 30-45 minute routine that you can do 3 times a week. Circuit training is great when you're new to the gym. Its a quick way to get your cardio up, tone your muscle, and get in shape. Now if you want to get buff, its not for you. But you can look up all types of programs on the internet. Supersets, circuit training, whatever.

Nutrition - And this ties into the first one. Start eating a more balanced diet. Stay away from alot of carbs in the evening. Dont drink lots of carbonated beverages. Drink plenty of milk, juice, and water during the day. Start eating half as much fast food(or less) than you usually do if youre into hamburgers and pizza and other fried things. Try and get at least three solid meals in everyday. A good breakfast, a light lunch, a light snack if possible, and a good dinner. Try to give yourself at least 4 hours between dinner and the time you go to sleep to burn off the calories you took in from dinner. You'll sleep alot better, feel alot better, and lose more body fat this way(as opposed to water weight).


Search for some good tips on club game. I would have, but I don't feel like doing everything for you, you know? You're all big boys now, you can go find things for yourself. Make it a point to start going to sarge clubs, bars, or any other place like that at least 1 night every two weeks. If not more. 3 times in two weeks is probably enough.


AtTheClub - Learn how to make insta-wings. Honestly, recruit the guys who look like they're having success with women. Just start talking to em. Talk about which girls are hot. Who had their ass on you and knew how to move. Whatever. Get these guys numbers so you can go to the club together again. These guys will be your naturals to pick apart to learn from.


AtTheClub - If you drink alot when you go clubbing, cut it to a minimum for a few months. Learn to sarge as clear headed as possible. If you never drink when you go to the club, try sarging after having 1 or 2 drinks. If you feel alot more comfortable and loose, try to keep that up for a couple of months. But dont go overboard. If you dont drink at all... Congratulations you bastard. You make alcoholics like me feel bad, lol. Just playin. If you dont drink. Dont drink.


AtTheClub - If its more of a dance club type of place and not really a bar, stop opening with damn routines, lol. If she's facing you, whether this is on the dance floor or not, go over to her, hold solid eye contact, you can even have a slight smirk on your face if you want to appear really comfortable (which you should be). Grab her hand(not hard you ass) and kinda just drag her off to the dance floor. If not her hand then her waist. You really dont have to talk alot of the times.

If she resists, just tell her, "You look like you can dance."


AtTheClub - If youre already on the dance floor, just step up behind a girl if she's turned around and pretend like you know what you're doing. She'll grind on you. If you just drug a girl to the dance floor or she was facing you, hold her hand, turn her around and bull her towards you. Not in a rough way though. Be fairly gentle, but be dominant at the same time. If she resists, just let her do her thing. Move on to another girl. If not, then get your waist close to her ass. She should start grinding. If not, and you dont know what to do, then you need to watch other girls grind on guys and get it down to where you can move her hips with your hands in the same manner when she's dancing on you.


AtTheClub - You will hear all types of bullshit excuses. I dont dance. I cant dance. My friend ... I'm too tired. I'm about to leave. I need to go to the bathroom. I need a drink.

Whatever. Default answer for any bullshit until you learn something better to say:

Cool.

Then keep trying to do whatever it was you were trying to do (in this case, get her to grind on you for a song or two).

The entire point of this is to get you comfortable in the club, with the loud music, the liquor, smoke, not being able to hold a real conversation, ect. To get you touching women and moving in a way thats sexual. To get rid of fears that you may have about approaching women in the club. To get you comfortable period, so you can move on to bigger and better things.

If you can get a couple of dances in, and you have some good club game, feel free to run it now. If not, you can say whatever you want, go for a #close (which will probably be wood but that doesnt matter anyway), go for a SDL, whatever.


DayGame - The chick at the line at Mcdonalds, the girl who brings the pizza to your table at Pizza Hut, The car salesman(girl) trying to sell you on that shitty Mazda at some bullshit car place, The girl next to you in the computer lab, the foreign girl working at the stand at the mall trying to sell you lotion(if anybody knows where I got that from, they are probably laughin their ass off right now), the girl who asks you what size shoe do you wear at Foot Locker

You need to be talking to and flirting with all these girls. They have to talk to you. Their day jobs suck. Theyre probably bored out of there minds and need some fun convo and some relief from the losers that they talk to every day.

Unless you specifically came there to buy something, stop letting these girls talk you into buying shit. Pizza Hut and Mickey D's dont count because you came in there to buy food, lol. Flirt, tease, c/f away. Laugh, joke, and play, brighten her mood, tell her she looks kinda cute today, especially considering she's at work. Whatever. Say/do something. Be fun and interesting. Great practice - and you might get free food or a number too.

DayGame - Fun exercise for you to work at on your own. I get free food all the time. Just by flirting with girls. Can you learn how to get free food more often? And no you cant beg or say you're poor(unless its an obvious joke).

DayGame - Apart from with the "at their job" chicks, if you arent normally a Cocky/Funny type of guy, STOP USING IT LIKE ITS A METHOD. Lol, im naturally a C/F kind of guy. Its no more a technique to me than typing is to a computer nerd(no offense). Because if you run around being C/F all day long, she's going to have expecations from you that you simply cannot fill if all you're doing is spitting some lines.

Flirt, joke, tease, every once in awhile. C/F here and there when you need to. Other than that, just loosen up and be fun. Talk. Hold conversations. If you really cant think of anything, then just go the afc route and go down that list of questions they all ask like its an interview or something. As long as you're out there talking to girls, I dont care.


DayGame - YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY GO OUT AND DO THIS. I dont care if you work 55 hours a week. You need to take a sickday every week just to go out and do this if you want to get better. I'm not saying sacrifice your job, but if you want to get better, you have to sacrifice time that could be spent doing other things. You shouldnt be working 55 hours a week anyway. Its unhealthy.


DayGame - Read my other post(url above) and check out the posts on kino that are in there. Once you're comfortable with kinoing the girls hands and you can get into conversations a little easier, its time start pushing further. Flirt with girls, get them laughing, do false takeaways. All those techniques you read about. If you do get her laughing and flirting with you, this is your new routine.

"Awww, thats so sweet. You love me." Then put your arm around her and stand next to her. You know, like how you see people walk down the street with one arm over the shoulder and the other person has their arm aound the others waist. Simply, just put your arm around her, she'll follow suit especially if she thought that was funny or cute. This is your new routine. Get used to doing it until its natural. If you get good, you can change it around, add stuff to it, #close from it, whatever. And its probably gonna take just as many girls to get used to this, as it did with my first kino advice about holding the girls hand "forever."


Its alot of work, I know. Pretend like this is Nike. Just do it. And once you get comfortable, it'll be like Burger King and you can have it your way. Until then, you have to plenty to be doing.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Sex, Love, Relationships: Knowing What You Want

Alot of people go through life drifting with little or no purpose. And thats fine. People are free to do what they want. But on the other hand, those same people want to meet great men or great women, and have great sex, feel loved, have strong relationships and so on. But when it comes to meeting and attracting the opposite sex, this aimless way of interaction will produce none of those things that you search for.

Some guys attempt to meet women only for sex. And I'm not going to debate the morality of issues like this, but just emphasize the fact that while some guys only want sex, they have no means, no way, nor any direction in how to get that, so in turn they lead women on in a direction completely conflicting with "just sex." Whether it be getting into relationships, lying about how they feel, manipulating their emotions, or any other means, when all they want is sex. But what most men dont know is that regardless of whether women will choose to admit it, they would rather have no-strings attached sex and enjoy themselves than to be led on and lied to and feel cheated once they do have sex with a man, thinking that there is more to it than there really is.

Some women only attempt to meet men for the sole purpose of getting into a "relationship". And whether they want that relationship for comfort, or financial stability, or to feel love, they have no means, no way, nor any direction in how to be efficient in getting that. They manage to lead men on in a direction completely conflicting with "a relationship." Some use their looks, their dress, their attitude, their sex appeal, even sex itself to lure men into "a relationship" while the means that they use say nothing about the woman being relationship material. But what most women dont know is that regardless of what men say, do, or admit, most men are happy to settle down in an exclusive, caring relationship than to be led on thinking that what they're getting is going to be "just sex" when in actuality, the woman is seeking a relationship.

Let me add in a small amount of psychology(i can hear the complaints already, its not that bad though). I'd like to introduce you to a term called a "frame". A frame would be like the perspective through which a person views, events, relationships, people, emotions, life, etc. Its like the way you view the world at any given point in time. And throughout our day, we take on many different frames to deal with the events that occur for each of us.

Example: You have a car wreck, you have no insurance, and you end up not only having to pay for your own car but also the car of the other individual who was involved in the collision.

There are many ways you can look at this incident. Or in other words, there are many frames you can take on the even, whether they be constructive or deficient.

Frame 1: This is horrible. I dont know how I'm going to pay for all of this. I dont know what I'm going to do. I feel terrible.

Frame 2: I know I have to pay for all of this, but I'm so glad to be alive. It couldve been much worse. At least I've learned some lessons from all of this. I'll just have to work hard to cover the financial part of this situation.

Now regardless of which way you would frame the situation, both involve actually taking care of the specific event. But the way you frame a situation can either better prepare you to handle that specific occurrence and future events like it or hinder you in going in the direction you need to go in making things work for you. I'll let you decide which example is which.

So... what does that have to do with what I was saying earlier? Great question, I'm glad you asked. It has everything to do with what I was saying. The problem with most men and women in those situations I talked about are occurring almost exclusively because people want certain things in life and they spend so much time and effort to get them. But all that work amounts to only disappointment when you start with a frame that is not conducive to to your goals.

Guys, if all you want is "just sex," then you should have a frame of "all I want is just sex." And regardless of what you say, or do, or how you act, or anything else, if you reference your actions to your frame, none of your actions should say anything else. Telling a woman you love her, or you want to be with her, or taking her out to expensive dinners, or buying her roses and flowers, or anything of the like is definitely not going to get you what you want. And if it does, its going to create far more complicated issues than if your actions would match the frame you take on the situation.

Women, if what you're looking for is a "relationship", then you should have a frame of "what I'm looking for is a relationship." And regardless of what you say, or do, or how you act or anything else, if you reference your actions to your frame, nothing you do should be in conflict with that. Sleeping with a guy to get him in a relationship, using your looks and your sexuality alone to attract men, meeting guys in clubs and bars expecting great relationship material, screening out the boring 9-5 guys that would be great for relationships for the players, the smooth talking guys, the bad boys, etc, and other things like that is definitely not going to get you what you want. And if it does, its going to put you in situations far more devastating than if your actions would match the the frame you take on the situation.

And I'm not telling guys to stop looking for relationships with women who are great and make you happy and for women to stop having sex with a guy when you're attracted to each other and you want to enjoy each other. What I am saying is, stop doing the things that are counterproductive to getting what you want. And the first step is to fix your frame, and stick to it.

And this is the BEGINNING of meeting men and women and having great people in your life, and having what you want without lying, cheating, or deceiving yourself, nor anyone else. And this is key to making your life more fulfilling, as well as your relationships with the opposite sex.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Kino - Bring On The Touching

Number one reason why kinosthetics(touching) is not only important, but the reason why you should do it early, and I'll let you give me the answer. How many girls are you going to bed that dont even feel comfortable with you touching them?

Exactly. A girl isnt goin to let you anywhere close to her pants without being comfortable with you simply touching her. Even more so, the sooner you start with kino, the less likely she is to object.

http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&read=58224&fid=23&BoardID=2#358254

Woodhaven has a great post about different stages of kino, incidental and overt. And these range anywhere from just brushing up against a girl and just sitting close enough to a girl that touching just happens to kissing and everything else. I'm not saying the sooner you start to rub on her vagina, the less likely she is to object. Maybe I aught to field test that first.

Anyway, what I'm saying is (and this is word for word something else I posted):

- What I've found though is that the earlier you start, the less you have to go through to get to later stages of kino. And by early I mean, as soon as you open your mouth (im exaggerating, but within the first 2 or 3 minutes)you should have at least touched her in ways other than shaking hands, at least a couple of times. For instance, if you say something jokingly, tap or punch her arm lightly as you say it. Touch her hand lightly for whatever reason. Move beside her and "accidently" brush up against her. If you're walking, walk close to her so that incidental contact is going to happen.

I'm real playful and I joke alot and use my sense of humor to get physically close to her very quickly. If you have any grasp on c/f, you can be sexual and funny at the same time, have her laughing and open the door to hold her hand, put your/her arm around her/you, hug, kiss on the cheek whatever in 5-10 minutes.

It makes it very easy to escalate later on because you've already been physical in a way that was more than incidental but by keeping the incidental contact mixed in as you're gaming her, you take the touchy/feely vibe out of the interaction. And the longer you wait to start kino, the more resistant she is to you advancing.

Why kinoing early works so well is that, and I know from experience that women(and people in general) are very accepting as long as there is no reason to for them not to be. What I mean by that is that once a girl perceives you in a certain way, she accepts that as who you are. Move too far away from that perception too fast and she's going to get uncomfortable killing whatever rapport you've built. Stay close to that perception and if need be, you can edge away a little at a time without any problem. The point then, is to start off doing things so that you will be perceived in a manner thats beneficial to whatever goal you seek. -


Most naturals I've seen and/or know, are good with kino and start early. Personally, I've always used kino. Even before I found the community. Then you realize how important it is and you learn to implement it every sarge.

For all of you new guys out there, you have to learn how to touch girls. Point, blank, period. You have to learn how to get comfortable talking to girls first, sure. But at some point you have to learn how to be close to girls. How to touch them. And how to be comfortable doing it in a way that feels natural. Its like saying some lines youre not congruent with. You go around huggin on girls and touching there leg and putting your arm around their shoulder but you dont really feel comfortable, they're gonna pick up on that and its going to work against you. But if you arent comfortable doing it, you just gotta push past that.

Another thing that kino is great for that guys completely ignore is the fact that it screens girls for easy and/or quick lays. You start touching girls as early as possible, its easier to gauge the girls that are HSD, are really comfortable with themselves, are physically attracted to you... anything that could be considered for lack of a better term, fool's mate. You might turn the conversation sexual to judge where you are in the sarge or how attracted a girl is to you. You use kino the same way.

You have to escalate at some point anyway. Why not escalate to see how comfortable she is with being touched as opposed to waiting until you feel like you've built rapport, and she's attracted to you, and you've had IOI's. On the flip side, you can blow things by trying to move too fast so it takes time to learn to calibrate.

You gotta learn how to cut it(kino) off at the right times too. When the girl is shit testing you or anything else counter productive, you have to use some judgement on how or even if you want to kino. She does something you dont like, I definitely suggest a takeaway. Rewarding bad behavior is a definite no, unless its bad in a sexual way, then thats different. Then you get to spank her for being a bad girl and when she starts to be a good girl, you can spank her for that too, lol.

And I know alot of guys dont get a whole lot of practice with new girls in the end stages of a sarge. And this applies to me as well because its alot easier to open than close. But you gotta get comfortable touching a girls body sexually. Kissing places other than her lips. You know, all the kino that happens right before you close.

Since most of us wont have a new girl every day to practice on, you gotta make use of your fbs and ltrs to get comfortable in general with a womans body. You'd think it would go without saying, but some guys still post saying they have know idea what to do. Well, if you can close at least one girl, just keep laying her and get used to what youre doing.

And I honestly feel slow typing this cuz its obvious. If you've had at least one girl(i mean, old girl friend, a new lay, that one sarge when everything went right, whatever) you've been completely comfortable with, and this is more than just about kino or sex, then that feeling of comfort is what you should be aiming for when you're with other women. I don't care what routines(that you do or don't use) or techniques or methods you use, if you cant feel comfortable and natural doing it, then in the long run, its not going to be at all productive.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

New Guys Start Here

Nashvilleplayboy's Method For New Guys

If you can go out and do the EC mission

http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97686124580572

or you're comfortable enough with opening everyone with "Hi," and blah blah blah(lol), then its time for you start stepping up to the plate. Time to start making bigger moves.

Not only is this just for those guys, but for any guy who is looking to feel more natural in the field, or has AA, or just needs some motivation to go out and approach.

And definitely, this is for getting comfortable with women in general. So that all those techniques and methods you learned will have the chance to be applied once you get comfortable doing this. And it may not work for all of you, but this is somewhere to start and its really simple.

On the other hand, its really hard.

Number one on the list. Stop masturbating. No beating the meat until you get some(lol, im just playin). But seriously cut it down to a minimum.

Read Gunwitch Method.

http://gunwitch.fastseduction.com/

Take what you can from it and get rid of the rest. Not as important as what you read about sexual state. Learn what it is, learn how to get into it. Stay in it. All day. Everyday, from the time you wake up until the time you go to sleep.


My post on kino. Read it.

Bring on the Touching


Killswitchs post on kino. Read it.

The Importance of Kino

Go out and approach women. Say "Hi" if you have to and cant think of anything else to say. Shake their hand. Hold it. Hold it long enough that you start to think about how uncomfortable it is. This may be 4-10 seconds after grabbing her hand. Get used to doing it until you're comfortable with doing it and it feels natural.

If you can hold conversations for longer than 2 minutes, take the opportunity to get physically playful with women. Tap them on the arm, poke them in the shoulder when making a joke. Ask for a hug, whatever.

Get used to touching women.

If you have to. Get a gf, even if you do it in the afc way. Touch her. Sexually and any other way. Get touchy feely with your female friends. Touch women.

If you've ever had a girlfriend or FB that you used to sleep with and you got really comfortable with, to the point where it just felt normal to touch her, this is the feeling that you want to emulate. It should feel completely comfortable.

By the time you get comfortable at doing all of this, things like AA will go out the window. Add whatever game you normally run to everything I just said, you will have a much easier time seeing success in the long run. And even if its not working for you immediately, stick with it for at least a couple of weeks. This will make it easier for you to learn how to progress towards sex.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Getting Good vs. Getting Girls

Lots of guys are gonna tell you you need to master alot of things before you can get laid.

You'll hear guys saying things like, "Hey, you need to learn these techniques. You have to know this method. You have to read these ebooks. You have to take this bootcamp and that seminar."

There are plenty of people who are going to teach you techniques, routines, lines, and methods to use to get laid. Thats fine, most guys who come here are going to need alot of that stuff.

What most guys won't teach you is to have a mindset thats going to make this journey in bettering yourself with women, as smooth and as easy as possible. When you're new to PU or have zero experience with women(or both), its easy to get caught up in the idea that you have to master every technique and every method that you see.

Its easy to get caught up in Guru worship spending thousands and thousands of hard earned dollars to learn techniques and things that you cant apply because you dont have the field experience to back up the techniques, basically just throwing your money away to have a guy yell at you to get in set and picking you apart when you come back(hell, I can do this right now, for free, lol).

It's easy to get caught up in wanting to be the top PUA on the planet. The quest to be the best. Even I was infatuated with the idea at the beginning.

But if you wanna get from zero experience to hero in the field, none of these motivations are going to take you there in the long run. The desire to lay every girl you meet, the search for the perfect 10, the desire to pay back all those women who looked down on you before who are gonna kiss your ass when you show them the skills you've learned, for most guys, these motivations aren't gonna help you in the long run either.

What happens when you have the ability to lay alot of the girls you meet and PU gives you nothing to look forward to? What happenes when you lay A COUPLE of perfect tens and realize that beautiful women arent really that important? What happens when you lay all those chicks that looked down on you in the past, and you blow em off for better chicks that you picked up using your skills alone?

PU is gonna be empty. Youre going to have wasted alot of time searching to master every technique, wasted alot of money to learn basic skills, and spent alot of your life aiming to be the best. Then youre gonna go on your merry way looking for some other wordly pleasure to fill whatever it is thats missing in your life.

I've seen guys do it. Master every skill, sleep with tons of women, and they're still miserable. They move on to devote themselves to a religion they barely believe in to feel better about themselves. You dont have to go through that excrutiating process, and you have all the opportunity in the world to get what you want out of PU and out of life, . So lets get your heads together now while it can make a difference, before you go down that long road of wasting your time.

Theres basically two ways to approach learning pick-up and how to seduce women. You learn and pick-up with the intention of getting girls, or you learn and pick-up with the intention of getting good. This is about as simple as I can make it.


Where this is applies to you: DO NOT APPROACH PU WITH THE IDEA OF GETTING GOOD.

Not yet. You can see which experienced guys are simply out to get good just by watching what they're doing. Its all about how much can their skillset accomplish on its own.

You wanna get good? You put yourself in a position where you have little to rely on other than your own head. No social proof. No pivots. No wing. Dress down(no peacocking). Cold approaching only. Going for threesomes. Going for the hottest girls only. Ignoring logistics. Basically trying to bed women by sheer will alone.

When youre new, if you constantly put yourselves in interactions that involve alot of those situations all grouped together, you're going to make it ALOT, for emphasis sake, ENTIRELY WAY TOO MUCH HARDER on yourself than it needs to be. You're going to make it hard for yourself to see success. To get laid. To meet girls that you're able to handle at your level of skill. Youre going to make it harder for yourself to be satisfied with your level of success.

Even worse, most newer guys spend most of their time in the field trying to master ALL of those specific situations. And they have to spend thousands of approaches just to get past one stage. And thats because they never took the time to get comfortable with just going through the basics and getting their dick wet enough to not care if they're getting laid "tonight" or if theyre laying every chick, or seeing immediate success.

Trust me, in trying to master specific areas of sarging, you need to be completely outcome independent in the field at all times to fully grasp and be objective about where you are as a PUA, what you need to be doing, and what you did right/wrong in the field. But the process becomes alot shorter when you already have field experience to thoroughly cover the basics.


Which leads me to: PU to get girls.

In the beginning, you need to be comfortable with just going through your sarges and interactions taking the simplest steps to bed women. Once your comfortable doing this and sex becomes less of an issue, THEN you can move on to mastering specific skills, working on perfecting your skillset.


So where do you start? Opening, duh.

But look, you dont have to be able to open every set or have 1000 openers to deal with every situation. You dont even need to perfect a routine stack. All you need: to be able to overcome approach anxiety to where you can open(literally just open your mouth and say something), and to be able to open and keep the conversation moving for a few minutes every few times you open. Thats as far as you have to master opening before you move on to the next step.


Second: Kino

You dont have to be able to take every interaction to the point where you're making out and feeling her up. All need is just enough experience to be comfortable touching her hand or arm here and there, punching her in the shoulder during or in response to a playful joke, putting your arm around her without feeling uncomfortable, and walking close enough or sitting close enough to her that incidental kino is bound to happen.


Then: Phone# Closing and Phone Game

Once you can open and hold a conversation every once in awhile while throwing in some kino here in there, all you need are some simple ways to get phone numbers to keep the interaction moving along when there are time constraints you have to deal with. Really simple way: Just hand her your phone, really, shes not stupid. And if she resists or offers you some bullshit excuse, just say "cool." Hand her your phone again lol, sometimes her bullshit is just a shit test that you can ignore.

As for talking on the phone, dont wait forever to call her back. Within in the next two days is cool. You dont have to be super funny or super interesting EVERY SINGLE SECOND your on the phone. Just relax, dont make a big deal out of it and use the call to set up a Day2. "Lets go to 'such and such' tomorrow so we can do 'this and that'." Doesnt have to be some complicated well thought out strategy to get her to meet you. Not every girl you call is gonna meet you anyway. Get over it, its no big deal. You need just enough to get a day2 here and there.


Next on the list: Day 2s

Learn how to have a normal damn conversation. Not boring, but don't act like you haven't ever talked talked to girls before. Learn to step up your kino a lil bit. Instead of asking yourself is now a good time to kiss or when should I kiss her, just shut the fuck up, move close to her, and do it. And dont shove your tongue down her throat either. Just brush your lips up against hers just enough so that she knows its a kiss but not so much that she can say you tried to rape her(lol). If you have to practice just having conversations and kino with your female friends(aka LJBFs girls) to comfortable enough to where its not weird to you, then do that.


Obviously: Isolation

Youre gonna have to find somewhere to go. Most new guys cant pull a girl into the bathroom at Waffle House to get some fornication, lol. Thats fine. If you cant take her back to your place, or you cant go to hers, or neither of you have a car, then you have to get creative. Other than that, just use dumb excuses to be alone. They can honestly be dumb. As long as you dont make a big deal out of it and you arent a weirdo, most girls if theyre into you, will be perfectly happy to check out your myspace page or play madden '07 with you for a few minutes. If all you have is the car, hell, take her to the park so you can see the ducks/fish/stars/wtf ever. It doesnt even have to be a really legit reason to be alone. Just let it be a reason, and one that you can justify when you get there. Then keep her around longer than JUST to do that one thing. Its not rocket science.


Moving on: Escalation

At some point, you have to be sexual. If anyone has been keeping up how I work, you should already have no problem projecting the fact that your sexual in some way. Kino, eye contact, conversation topics, sexual humor... list goes on. You've got her isolated now, so obviously, she's not going to make the first move. You have to be comfortable enough to just go for it at some point in time. Stop worrying about whether she likes you or is attracted to you or wants sex or whatever. If she's alone with you even though you gave her that bullshit excuse, she wants it, whether she knows it or not. Its your job to lead.


At some point: "Fuck a Calibration"

Just fuck it and go caveman. Grab her ass, pull her too you(i dont mean like a maniac, have some gentile nature about it), and kiss her. Drag her to the bedroom and basically throw her on the bed. You might even have to put her over your shoulder and carry her in there if shes not there already. Who cares. THEN back to calibrating again. Start learning the difference between "No" (stop, i dont want this, you're weird, im gonna call the cops) and "No" (we shouldnt be doing this, but I want you, but maybe im just not completely comfortable, slow down and turn me on first, press the right buttons and this will turn to yes, aka No, dont stop).


This should go without saying: Have sex.

If you havent had much sex, turn the girls you've bedded into FBs so you get that experience with little to no extra work(aka sarging a new girl). I shouldnt have to go into all the reasons why its important to have some regular sex at some point when you have no experience with women. Obviously, you cant read any information offered to you if you need an explanation.


Until you get some lays and enough experience in all of these areas to simply be comfortable with doing these, YOU SHOULD NOT BE SPENDING TONS OF APPROACHES TO MASTER ANY ONE THING. Thats basically it. You work on getting good later.

How do you judge how much experience you need with each before you move on to working on the next stages? Well, have you done the stage before it yet? Do you feel like if you have to do it again with a new girl that its possible? Do you still have anxiety when it comes to any of those things that youre currently working on that makes it very difficult to go through with it? Are you having enough success with what youre doing to feel like you can take it to the next level soon? Being able to answer all of these questions can tell you whether you need to keep working on this one particular area or move ahead with this girl and come back to it in your future sarges.

All you have to do now is just go get in the field. Once you have the basics down, then you add the bells and whistles that augment your ability to apply the basic skills. Basically, you add everything in a PUA's arsenal that can help you get laid. From social proof, to advanced techniques, to wings and pivots and everything else. When you get to the point where you understand the dynamic between you and the girls you're sarging, and you have no problem getting laid or using the principles conventially relied upon in the community, then you move on to getting good.

You can drop all the extra stuff and start focusing again on mastering the skills that make you great regardless of whatever cards you have up your sleeves(social proof, peacocking, etc).

Get to work.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

If You Are Not Willing to Risk... You Don't Deserve To Win

I don't know any better way to say it.


I'm not a rich guy. In fact, quite the opposite. Ramen noodles are my best friend. They've stood by and supported every time that I've needed them, whether I was broke, hungry, or anything else(actually, usually JUST when Im broke and hungry). Anyway, I digress(bet you didnt even think I knew what that meant, hah hah you bastards).

I bring up me not having money as an example, a real life example. I've taken the safe route. I took the sure job that fit my schedule that I knew would be easy to keep. I graduated from high school and took the classic off to a university to get a degree route. Even more, in something I dont even really have a passion for. Only did it because it was something I had a knack for and it would make some money.

And you know what it got me?

A sub par college experience and a sub par part time job that barely pays the bills and I hate both with a passion and would rather just get bin laden to bomb them both, lol. Ok, I exaggerate, but heres my point. I took the "sure thing" and the same route that everyone else takes. And it got me the rewards of a low risk "sure thing" and the same thing that everyone else gets.

You cant play it safe and expect to win big. And even more...

If you aren't willing to risk EVERYTHING, then you don't deserve to win.

The most successful guys I've seen, that ive seen in ANYTHING, are successful because they did anything but play it safe. They risked everything they had. Even risked it all and lost. And the next opportunity they had, they risked it all again.

That is the type of person you pretty much have no choice in being if you want to win. And thats in a business, with women, in life in general.

I know in Pick-up, alot of guys fear rejection. They fear walking up to a girl and putting their heart(and their ass) out there and having shoved down their throats. So they take the safest route possible. They buy a girl a drink hoping to impress her. Or the compliment her looks or her shoes hoping to sound suave. Or they use the lamest lines on planet earth because theyre scared that if they show up and just be themselves that they will get laughed at or embarrassed. They do the safest thing possible, they do what everyone else does, they avoid risking being turned away based on who they are.

What kind of sad sh*t is that.

If you cant go out and be comfortable being you and only giving her the choice of liking it or kicking rocks, then you will never deserve to have someone to love you and appreciate you for who you are. I mean, honestly and genuinely appreciate you and see you as special. You can have all the girls in the world, but if you were fake to get them, if were someone who's not you to seduce them, if you lied your way into getting them to like you, does it really mean anything? What happens when you have to drop the charade? You wont be able to keep them. Cant have your ego stroked from success that isn't honestly yours. Even then, success will come so little and so rarely that its not success. Its at best, mediocracy.

Watch the guys who go out and have fun and are direct and up front. They dont play scared. They go after what they want. They don't worry about losing. They don't worry about about failing. They don't worry about embarrassment. They don't care, because they know that sooner or later, as long as they keep at it, they will get what they want.

And thats what a winner is. Regardless of what might happen if you fail, regardless of how many times you do fail, you go after what you want until you get it. If you want to be great with women, stop letting them shake you. Playing scared is the same as losing is the same as buying a drink to buy some attention is the same as taking her out to dinner to buy her affection is the same as complimenting her to try to make her like you.

Play the game... %100, every time, no room to be scared. Anything less and you might as well not play.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesnt keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

You Don't Have to be the Smoothest Guy Ever...

Whats goin on fellas? How are you all doing? Me, I'm a ball of sunshine and bunny rabbits, thanks for asking, lol. Seriously though, I'm doing pretty good. Dreading going to work because as we all know, its quite often our employ does not match our personal tastes(in other words, we hate our jobs). But I'm still cool... as always.

And thats somewhat my point. Always be cool. In my line of (other)work, I meet plenty of women(some attractive but some, well... you know), and one thing I've seen constantly, over years and years, is that women will eat a guy alive if he's not cool.

And no I'm not talking about Brad Pitt in Fight Club cool or Tom Cruise in Top Gun smooth(or rather arrogantly charming), I'm simply referring to being at ease. The same way women demolish a nervous stuttering nervous guy, is the same way they appreciate and are attracted to a guy that is completely at ease and makes her feel at ease, even when you don't know each other.

But the truth is, its not really about making her feel at ease. Its about you being comfortable. Comfortable approaching, conversating, laughing, joking, smiling, teasing, basically interacting. Its not necessarily the acts themselves. Any drunk loser can open a girl, laugh and joke play... but he can also look like a chump doing it. Its more HOW you do it.

See, women aren't like men. When men talk to women, they tend take what women say at face value... they don't look much deeper than specific "what she says and does." The not so bright guys anyway. But when women talk to men, the look for EVERY SINGLE THING about you... through WHY you do and say what you do and HOW you do those things.

So when you walk up to a girl all nervous and shy and stumble over your words and apologize for bothering her and forget what you were saying and drool and tell her you think she's hot and you'll leave now and never bother her again(all of this with as little confidence and comfort as humanly possible), she might turn and say to her friends, "Awww that was so cute how he did that. That was really sweet how he was so nervous."

You'd think that means she thought you were sweet for doing all that. But again, that would be taking what she says at face value only and not looking at things how women see it. I'll give you some insight on girl code. When you did all that, this is how she sees you...

-Oh, no, please dont let him be looking at me. Oh no, he's walking over here.- She turns and smiles to at least be polite.

You whimper and stumble over your words and somehow get out "hi, you're sexy" or its equivalent while also managing to apologize for bothering her which you think is polite and also that you'll never bother her again which you think she thinks is cute because you're nervous.

And she's thinking to herself -he's so nervous. He must never have seen a girl before. I bet he's never even had sex. Its so cute that he's trying to talk though... cute and SAD. God how I feel sorry for him. Let me at least smile... its the most action he'll ever get. I bet his mother neglected him as a child, and since he never had many friends or a strong father figure, he's struggled to just keep it together. Oh, look, he says he'll never bother me again, THANK GOD. Why is he tiptoeing away? I wish he would turn and run... so I can. LMAO, he almost tripped over that guy. So sad. Man am I glad thats over!-

Then she turns to her girls, "Awww that was so cute how he did that. That was really sweet how he was so nervous."

And the next time they bring you up, everyone falls on the floor laughing. You were their comic relief.

And yeah, maybe that was a little extreme, but I kid you not, that is how women look at what you do and draw all kinds of conclusions from ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. You were a little nervous and she got ALL OF THAT plus laughs from you.

So... imagine had you walked up to her completely at ease, not a hint of nervousness and just said, "Hi, you're pretty cute." And stood there waiting for her to start a conversation.

You wouldn't even have to do it with Brad Pitt style confidence. If a woman looks at a little bit of nervousness and draws those crazy conclusions FROM NOTHING, how do you think she'd look at you for approaching her the other way?

She wont know what to think. Is he a player? Is he rich? Is he a crazy? Whats the deal with him? At the very least, she'll talk to you for twenty seconds on intrigue alone, JUST TO HAVE MORE MATERIAL TO MAKE HER INSIGHTS. And if you never give her anything to make any bad judgments about you, because you're never nervous, never stumble, always at ease, you're ten times ahead of the first guy by doing nothing but being comfortable.

So put it together... BE FREAKING COMFORTABLE. Its that simple.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesnt keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

Where Great Game Begins

Well, you're new to this. There is so much stuff for you to learn, so many things for you to draw from.

Where do you start? Well, yeah you gotta read this stuff and yeah, you gotta get some field experience. Other than that, what do you do? For one, you gotta learn how think for yourself, experiment for yourself, make decisions for yourself, and then take advice where you need it. This is how you learn to be a leader. And honestly, women dont want a man that CAN'T lead. But doing those things doesnt only apply to women, but to mASF and life in general. So, back to where you need to start.

#1 and this is most important. Get off the computer and get in the field. Sounds funny when I say it cuz im typing to you on a computer right now, I've even laid a few girls from you're various internet social gathering places. And thats exactly why Im telling you if you cant do it in real life, you definitely have no chance "sarging" online. Trust me, its actually the hardest way to get a girl, I promise(other than possibly in a lesbian bar). Especially when you have 0 field experience to draw from.

Now that I got that out of the way, let me tell you what most guys that are great with women, and this includes naturals and pua's alike, have in common: they're comfortable with women. This is where you want to start at. Forget about eliciting values, trance words, DHV's, routine stacks, and most anything else for awhile. You need to go out and learn to talk to women (this includes opening but at the same time dont focus solely on how to open).

You need to get comfortable talking to women that you dont know well or at all in order to make it as easy as possible to seduce them. But since that doesnt happen over night, you just need to learn how to just open you're mouth and say anything. Learn how to have a normal "non-seducing" conversation. Learn how to be social. Learn how to be cool around people in general. If you can manage this while learning some basic mASF techniques, you'll have an edge that most new guys, and even some guys who've been here a year, dont have.

http://gunwitch.fastseduction.com/

This is the link to Gunwitch Method. It costs nothing but the time it takes to read it. If where you are in learning how to meet women could be considered a baby, then GWM should almost be you're bottle. And it might not completely be for you, but its an easy way to start to get a natural feel for what you're doing. I would also say pay close attention to sexual state in the book and learn how to maintain that on a constant basis.

Another way to naturally attract women in your life is to actually have something going for yourself. If you're poor like me, get off your ass and get a job, or a better job. If you're a poor college student like me, find a way to make some money on the side when you have time on top of getting a PT job, or get girls to take care of you or whatever.

Dont have a car? Save up as much money as you can to get one. Live at home? Work towards moving out. Look for roomates, save up a lil bit of money every week. Maybe even, and it may sound horrible, get an income based apartment till you can get on your feet.

Start lifting weights. Find you a nice 30-40 minute routine you can run through 3 days a week. Start eating healthier. Lose or gain weight to get a better physique. Learn how to play guitar or piano, or even sing, so theres something interesting in youre life other than school work and girls. Even though theres not much more interesting in my life than school work and girls, I dont have the same problems you have, so dont argue, lol.

If you can't dress, spend some money on some nice clothes and shoes. Dont care how you get it, even if its only a piece a week. Get you a nice shave, great haircut, nice cologne. Get you some friends that are great with women, who like to go out, and who are popular, even if they only fit one of those descriptions. One player friend, one party friend, and one cool social friend is enough to learn how to apply each of those qualities to yourself.

Get rid of your loser/girless/average frustrated chump/virgin-not-by-choice friends at least until you're independant enough to do this stuff on youre own regardless of whether or not the encourage or discourage you. Start finding things about yourself that you're good at or are interesting. Learn how to talk about that stuff with other people without being a brag/ass about it.

And defintely learn how to relax. Dont put so much into seeing success immediately and focus more on simply improving, whether it be a little bit at a time or making giant strides.

Everything I said is hard work, sure. But its better than wasting youre life away on the computer, never improving, and wonder why you never get a girl.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesnt keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If youre comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP