Shit test? Please. WTF is a shit test?

A couple of years back, I used to spend time thinking of "How do I pass this damn shit test." Its evident now, guys have the same thought processes I had years ago.

You know the problem with thinking you have to pass a shit test? Its the fact that you place the future of the interaction on actually passing the shit test. You HAVE to have the right answer.

WTF

I'm telling you from experience, its a flawed mentality. Don't think you HAVE to do anything. Girls don't dictate what we do or say. We do whatever we want and if she doesn't like us for who we are, thats her problem.

I wont go through all the advice that I've given and seen guys give when it comes to passing shit tests. Its a moot point. It will lead you nowhere but having to pass more shit tests.

And I'm going somewhere with this, dont worry. I've heard everything from girls.

"I don't have a phone."

"I don't give people my number(but yet there's 20 guys calling her phone everyday)."

"You're such a player."

"You didn't think I was gonna sleep with you, did you?"

"I hate you. Leave me alone and never talk to me again."

"Get away from me."

Lol, everything in the book that a chick could throw at you, I've probably heard. And I dont know how long ago I realized this but, the more emphasis you place on passing shit tests, the more likely it is for you to "fail".

Guys at the top of their game simply no longer know what a shit test is. They dont care. It doesn't even register to me that a girl is shit testing me until hours later when Im playing out the interaction in my head, trying to see what I can learn from.

What am I getting at? The best way to pass EVERY shit test is to care so little about passing them, that you hardly know what a shit test is. Your actions or your mindset should never take away from being comfortable with yourself, being comfortable with women, and being comfortable with being sexual. If you have that, a shit test is nothing, especially when you dont care.

Thats the only explanation I can give for passing those shit tests above.


Two principles my actions are guided by:

1. I know chicks are full of bs for the most part. I barely take them seriously.

2. I simply dont give a damn and for the most part, I do what I want.

Lol.

This leads to, for the most part, me either ignoring the bs that I get from chicks or laughing at them.

Seriously. A girl can tell you, "either you take me out to dinner, or Ill never call you again." Well, you have to options right? Hell no. You can do anything you want to do. You can laugh and say thats cute. You can ask her what she likes more, mcdonalds or burger king. You can say you don't pay for dinner but if she behaves you might buy desert. Shit test that it is, you don't even have acknowledge the fact that its a test if you don't take her seriously and don't even care if you ever talk to her again.

You can do anything you want and have her still like you. Stop worrying so much about passing the test and do what you want. Thats what women honestly want. A guy who can do what he wants, be comfortable with that, and still manage to lead others in the same direction.

For the most part(lol).

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Girls chasing you? Dont rely on it at all.

I've been pouring through alot of old stuff I've written up. And by old, I mean, years ago. And I came across something relevant to what Im seeing alot of now.

Guys wanting girls to chase them and trying to build their game around that. And it happens. Occassionally, girls may approach you. And from time to time, yeah, you can get a girl to chase you into bed. But for the most part, girls dont chase until after theyve invested something important in you... like sex.

Relying on women chasing you to get laid is just being too lazy to step up to the plate and lead. Most women NEED to be led. Lead the conversation, lead them to bed, lead them into a relationship, lead them everywhere. Its a fundamental need that most women display because they simply dont have it in them to lead themselves AND be happy, at least for the most part.

Anyway, on the original material.


"Every girl simply isnt going to chase you, no matter how solid your game is, no matter how attracted or comfortable with you she is, no matter how strong your frame is. What I can say from my experience is that IF you can get a girl to chase you, then most of the work is done for you. I'm not just talkin about sex, but that and relationships, and her doing anything she can to keep you from cooking to paying your bills to sucking your penis while you go through your daily activities. And after the point she starts to chase you, it requires very little skill. Just some frame control and the ability to lead.

I think this style of game is very solid in pulling girls that would normally be pushed away by being chased and would respond better to a less direct type of game. This can be remedied by push/pull, maybe not to the same effect, but it still works.

Another thing I have seen is, some girls literally will not chase you if there was a gun to the back of their head. Their form of chasing is equivalent to "God I want him, cant he see it. I went through all of this trouble: to make it so we're alone together; putting on this sexy underwear/not putting on any underwear with this skimpy outfit; got rid of my friends so he can do whatever he wants; throwing him all these signals and saying all of these sexual innuendos etc... WHEN IS HE GOING TO TAKE CHARGE?"

Some girls simply aren't going to lead you to the bedroom. For most of them, its not in their nature or ability. The extent of their "chasing" is simply sitting there putting up as little "resistance" as they think is possible. And this is regardless of ASD. Most girls simply can't take the responsibility of doing things to disarm their ASD, they can't take the responsibility of making the direct move that leads to sex, and they cant take the responsibility for leading and taking the initiative.

Having game that relies on girls doing any of these things is going to severely inconsistent. But having game that is flexible enough to account for these issues regardless of who takes the responsibility of leading or even chasing is going to be very solid. Sometimes she will chase you all the way to the bed, hop on top of you, and take your penis from you. And thats great, some of us dream about every pu going that route. Most of the time though, if a girl is going to chase you, its only going to be to a point. You have to have the insight and ability to know when to stop trying to be chased and start leading directly toward an outcome. And alot of times, the most the girl is going to do is give you green lights at every intersection.

You want some easy consistency, learn to game through any situation where the girl wants to make it easy for you. You want to be good, learn to game through those situations as well as when she's not trying to make it easy for you. Know when to plow through, know when to play it cool.

One last thing, no situation is going to go the exact same as any other. No interaction is going to be you solely leading and her solely following. Solid game usually is not going to be 100% direct and 0% indirect or the other way around for that matter. There is always going to be some balance. Balance between the level of attraction and the level of comfort. Balance between the necessity to lead, and opportunity to let the interaction flow. Balance between having to qualify and having to validate. Whats more important than finding one straightforward way to game is to find a congruent way to game that leaves the interaction in your favor no matter what kind of balance is needed."

When women chase you, take advantage of the situation. When they dont, you step up and make it happen. Theres nothing wrong with, no supplication in, and nothing close to chasing in directing, leading, and pursuing women.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Basics: How much C&F is too much?

Calibration from/and experience will tell you when too much is too much and you don't want to overdo the funny part or the cocky part. What makes it so difficult to perfect it is necessary to have the most complicated element of PU mastered - Balance.

For one, if you are using C&F as a technique, it becomes alot more complicated because you are displaying personality traits of someone that you are not normally accustomed to being. This is somehwere around the area of congruency. You shouldn't seem like you're trying too hard, or just throwing out lines, you want to seem natural and smooth about everything, which usually means cutting out alot of C&F. Don't let that be the standard that you're game is judged by if the rest of your personality is not congruent with you're techniques. A little bit of C&F is fine. A little bit more than that is probably all you need. And there is a thin line between all you need and way too much. Again, field experience and social calibration will make that line much clearer and allow you to find a better balance.

If you are a C&F» person, being that its not some lines you read on the computer or some explanation of a technique that you are implementing, then its usually much simpler and way easier to calibrate. When its just simply the way you interact with girls, its more or less just not overdoing the cocky part. Just keep it about 40% cocky, 60% funny and use it at will. And when it (and I use this term loosely) FEELS right, just ease up a lil bit to let the girl ACTUALLY connect to you. Other than that, its not too complicated.

Delivery, tonality, and body language are definitely important. But its not something you just have to focus on, it usually fixes itself with field experience and internalizing a few helpful beliefs(such as its normal for women to be attracted to you, and you're comfortable in sexual situations or with women in general).

The funniest thing about C&F is that while it seems to be a tool for breaking rapport and building attraction, it really cements solid rapport. Gunwitch has a term for this, its called rapport assumption. Regardless of whether or not the two of you have an actual rapport, its acting AS IF you alread did or as if she's seeking it. Having a C&F personality and interacting with a chick like that isnt something normal people do. They do that after having a friendship or being in some form of relationship for awhile when the two people are comfortable with each other and this behavior is acceptable.

You skip all that and just assume the behavior is already acceptable and act as if the connection is already there. And after a while, she takes on this frame and you've built rapport without seeking it. Then you move on to the "I feel like I've always known you" or "I barely know you, but I feel so close to you" kind of thing.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

The Basics of Picking Up The Hottest Women

I see alot of posts lately, with guys wanting to know or teach how to pick up 9's and 10's and SHBs and all. Whatever. Guys like to attack the issue from a technique standpoint, when the technique never changes just because a girl is slightly more attractive than a few other attractive women. Its not ever really an issue of "what techniques do I use to get her, she's SUPER hot."

Its an issue of having your head together so that you wont let her looks take away from your game and having an understanding to work around logistical situations created by the fact that she's attractive and that effects most everyone else around her.

Anyway, I pulled something out of an old post of mine just to give a premise(take into account that this was now years ago).

"From dealing with women, I would say that their physical beauty, from head to toes is their most powerful weapon. The reason being that most men on the planet value a womans beauty and sexuality over anything else she can offer. A smaller percentage of guys actually value a females personality as much as he values her looks. And I think that for guys who have little to no opportunity to pull a very attractive women uses this as an excuse and a blanket to keep from acknowledging his own low value, so that percentage dramatically decreases. Then there are the very handfull who could care less about how attractive a woman is so long as she is attractive enough to lay and will suck a penis, cook dinner, and pay rent.

Most of the unattractive guys lie in the category of giving to much value of a woman based on her looks. Even guys who learn this stuff fall into the same category because they're core values havent changed. They still weigh a woman's value by her looks and to compensate they mask their low value with all of these techniques and learn some frame control and voila, theyre ready to handle the HB. No, they have a couple of new tricks and put some shiny new paint on the same old rugged house and so yes they are better off than before but still the same rugged low value house.

The guys who value personality as much as looks as well as the guys who just use women are in a completely different category. They're advantage is, they completely eliminate most of the influence» that a woman has. Without her looks, the HB who has probably been hot all her life has little left to fall on to stay in control of the interaction. While her socially perceived value may stay at a certain level, her value relative to you in a PERSONAL INTERACTION is lower than it would be with the average joe. This creates the premise that value is never fixed. It is perceived.

Most men value so very few traits in a woman, that women can spend all their time working on two or three aspects of themselves and have incredible success in a social environment. And I'll name three for you, physical beauty, social skills, and the ability to manipulate. Though most men may not value a womans ability to manipulate, womens attempts to manipulate can be thoroughly masked by her social skills. Its just like that. Do you think most men really enjoy going around buying girls gifts and getting nothing in return, doing favors for girls that would pay them no attention otherwise, buying fancy cars (and in my neighborhood, big rims), huge houses, and expensive clothes just to try and attract a beautiful woman? Hell no. Men do it because most of us are trained to think that these things are what attracts women and men want women. And while these things have value, they are very specific and will attract girls who value these particular articles more than other things(aka-gold diggers). Just like guys with well developed bodies and handsome faces are going to attract women who value that more than they value other things. Sure they'll attract the average well rounded female too, but any particular form of value is going to attract the type of woman who is more fixated with that value.

Having nice material possessions and a well developed body has value. Its evident in social settings that these guys have an automatic advantage at first, because they have obvious value due to their "possessions." But in a personal interaction, the perceived value of these things can increase or decrease based on how much the other person is actually interested in those things.

If you get where I'm coming from, value can come from everywhere, and the more positive traits that are associated with you, the more like you are going to have social value and the more like you are going to have value in a personal interaction. But the more you have of one specific type of value, the more you are going to attract women who are interested in only that type of value.

The same thing is true with personality. The guys with amazing personalities are going to be able to attract women who really value personality. The odd thing is that most women place high value on personality because they place high value on feeling emotions. Most guys with great personalities make girls FEEL. Good, bad, happy, sad, sexy, unattractive, horny, sexy, whatever. They elicit emotions from women and most women are drawn to that.

The PUA is trained to exploit that specific type of value above most everything else because this is the type of value that affects most women, regardless of their looks.

Its obvious as in theres no need to explain, that we need to perceived as having equal or higher value than the target to increase the amount of attraction and comfort in the target in a manner that is going to lead to sex. We have tons of techniques that increase our perceived value(DHV) or lower her perceived value (neg) while in a personal interaction. And these are fine. I'll even go so far to say that by DHV u arent trying to gain value(neediness). Its what high value people already do in a not so over-the-top way. They naturally change their perceived value to equal their inherent value. As long as you are coming from a place of value(as in you actually see yourself as valuable) then DHV is doing nothing more than being who you are. Its just that much harder to DHV when you actually need to feel validated.

Negging is also something high value people do(by the way, im not talkin about purely celebs or actors or anything, just people with social value in general) naturally. You just tend not to obviously notice value in other people when its something you are used having yourself. Most guys with nice cars dont even pay attention to guys with other nice cars. Its not even a big deal. He's probably more likely to notice if the other guy has scratches on his paint job. He's not overly trying to diminish the other guys value, its just what it is. Something he noticed. The difference between the techniques and simply just doing it is one can be incongruent while the other is just normal. I'll explain later.

Back to why guys have trouble with beautiful women. As long as you put alot of value in a womans physical beauty, you will not be able to naturally DHV or change or maintain your perceived value in the eyes of a beautiful woman. Why? Cuz you are doing it from a place where you already put her value above yours. So even though you might run the routines and recite the lines and c&f it to death, incongruency will set in. Your bl and your tonality and other things are going to seep in and naturally move your perceived value in her eyes closer to your inherent value. Simply, you're going to start doing the things you would normally do that would clash with the techniques you are using, aka incongruency.

What is actually beautiful about this, is all it takes to eliminate the incongruency is one simple thing. Its called normal. When something becomes normal, its perceived value in his eyes is lowered. When a guy is broke, money sound very enticing. When that guy is Bill Gates is that guy, money is just something he is used to. That doesnt make money less valuable, it just makes money less important to him because it is normal for him to have it and there is an abundancy of it. And there are some inconsistencies, some rich people have a desire to accumulate more money once they are rich. Its not unheard of. The thing is, that need for money is completely internal. Its up to them in their own mind to value money so much. They're already rich, they dont need more money anywhere near as much as a poor person.

Its almost the exact same with beautiful women. Most guys value beautiful women obviously because they value beauty, but they place so much value on beauty that they lower their own value in retrospect. The thing is, once you sleep with 10 or a 100 beautiful women. Beauty becomes NORMAL. The value that beautiful women have dramatically decreases in a personal interaction with you. Their social value doesnt move, they're still beautiful and their social skills have not changed. But in relation to you, their perceived value is lowered making it rather easy for you to DHV and maintain value in her eyes.

Another issue to be examined is Bladelaws example of him and Scarlett Johannsen at a party.

On 3/16/06, bladelaw wrote:

>Upon meeting Scarlett Johannsen, I neg,
>qualify, tease, make her
>laugh, and be the prize. In
>the span of 20 minutes, we
>just went from a 6 + 10, to an
>8 + 8. NOW I have a chance.
>
>But WAIT. It's only a matter
>of time before her managers
>start calling her with flights
>around the world, and I have
>to head back to my day job.
>The dynamic eventually reverts
>back to 6 + 10. Scarlett,
>having lost attraction, thanks
>me for an fun time. I go back
>to being a 5, and she back to
>a 9. She just can't validate
>giving that much time to me
>due to the small amount of
>value I add to her life.

Anytime you come in conflict with a womans social value, you run the risk of her choosing between you and her social status. We know how this goes. There are plenty of examples of ASD all throughout MASF. Thats enough proof that unless your ability to contribute to her social value is greater than what she risks losing, then she's not going to choose you. Thats why we get the approval of her friends then isolate when we want to escalate so her friends arent going to think any less of her or call her a slut. Its basically our way of avoiding conflict with her social value. On the other hand, theres probably plenty of celebrities that could just waltz right up to her, pat her on the ass, and have sex with her right in front of her friends and she wouldnt care because the potential social value that could be gained from the celebrity is more than enough to overshadow disdain from her friends. And even then, girls make it "okay" to do things normally looked down upon in certain situations. Her friends might even say that it was okay just because it was "xyz." Sometimes we dont have that luxury and opt with eliminating a need for her to choose. I tend to call that skill.

With scarletts situation though, theres a different way to go about that. Personally, i dont have the experience to say exactly what would work. I would reframe the hell out of everything and make it seem like she's chasing me and I'm the one who's really busy. And she's the one really trying to keep up with me and im not all that worried about it. I mean, whatever I can think of that I think would work, I might throw at her. The thing is, if I was used to this type of situation and this was normal, I would probably have no problem.

So, back to beautiful women.

When you say the easiest way to get a beautiful woman is to simply ignore the fact that she's beautiful its almost that simple. The thing is, just like the rich man who still "needs" more money, some guys get a beautiful woman and still "need" beautiful women.

The thing with most aspects of PU is there is always going to be thing present in every single element of what ever you do. BALANCE. Balance is finding the line between valuing her for being beautiful but it being normal enough to you that its not a big deal. Balance between the amount of attraction and the amount of comfort you need to lay a HB. Balance between how much you qualify and how much you validate the HB. Balance between how much you lead the interaction and how much you just vibe. The most powerful weapon we have in PU isnt confidence, or verbal skills, or anything else than you'll find in most posts or LRs, the most powerful weapon we have is the ability to find a balance that will lead us to the outcome we desire in any given situation.

Its talked about all the time. "Did I 'abc' enough? Did I 'xyz' too much? Was I too this? Was I not enough of that?" When the question is did my thoughts and values in relationship to my actions create the right balance to pull this chick. I mean its deeper than that, but its the beginning frame work. And if you want to be good, you have to be adaptable enough to realize that every situation and girl are going to require a different balance as well as having the ability to create that balance and produce a situation that is favorable to you."


--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Challenging a woman... Its necessary to get from chump to PUA

Let me say, Im not the the greatest PUA ever. Im no mPUA or any kind of guru. I've met guys who dont know what mASF is and have never heard of a PUA who are better with women than I am.

That said, I've slept with plenty of women. Plenty of women have been in love with me, infatuated with me, excited or intrigued or engaged by me. Though Im not the best, I have success with women. Thank yall for being so interested, lol.

It appears to me that often in this Community, we tend to put too much emphasis on "what to do" with women, when we should be putting most of our emphasis on "who we are" and where our focus is.

I know, for almost every guy on the planet, it sounds SOOOO great to hear that you can get laid using a bunch of lines. Some of you have likely tried speed seduction. Its captivating to think that you can seduce a woman with just a handful of patterns. There are eleventy(lol) different methods out there and just as many gurus for learning how to seduce a woman. Theres even the advice that people in general give you. "Be yourself, be nice , be courteous, be a gentleman..." so on and so forth. There are so many options to choose when it comes to how you should approach women.

Ill tell you this, no matter what lines, patterns, methods/gurus, advice you use to try to attract women into your life, you can only "do" so much. At some point, who you are is going to show through. Whether that be 1st class chump, or the smoothest player around, who you are is going to begin to have much more control over what you do than your conscious mind can cover.

You can use all the material in the world, best routines and all, and even if yorue successful with that, you'll only become dependant on the material to work for you.

Now, dont get me wrong, there are plenty of things you can DO that can begin to change who you are. You can be sexual with women, and this in turn will give you opportunity to be more comfortable with being sexual. And that will lead to you making women feel more comfortable with you. Because women want a man who's not afraid of his sexuality, who's not afraid to express it around women, and who wants her in a sexual way.

Take that as a hint.

But since we're on the subject of what we can DO, I'll get to my point. A woman by nature(as in being trained by society) wil try to impose her will on any man at any given time. She's going to ask you to buy her drinks, buy her dinner, take her places, do favors for her, listen to all her problems... basically, she's going to ask you to drop your masculinity for awhile and serve her.

In and of themselves, these things arent necessarily bad. The problem is that most men have nothing going for themselves to attract a woman other than attempting to BUY her affection or sex with gifts and favors. We call that supplication. Its a definite no.

I know alot of you guys are brand new to pick up. I know even more of you are probably struggling or have always struggled with women. I know many of you have had little to no success with women. Thats fine. But I'm assuming since youve been here, youve been reading up, and doing a few approaches, maybe even have some basic skill when it comes to interacting with women.

And maybe Im taking it for granted that youre in the field approaching often, it can be difficult at first. Doesnt matter. Im sure you know women, hell you have a sister, a mom, a cousin, classmates, co-workers, something, so no one has any excuse why they cant do what Im about to tell you.

If you cant tell a woman no and then offer something that YOU want her to have, then you cant expect to sleep with a woman who tells you she wants a relationship(or money, or dinner, or dates, or a friend or whatever).

Plain and simple, YOU HAVE TO CHALLENGE WOMEN. If youre a pushover, if you supplicate, if you do all those things I listed earlier, if you give her only what she asks for and not what YOU want(and thats really what women want, a man that takes what he wants), then you will NEVER be successful with women.

I know the Community has a tendency to stress success with women as lays, but im not that shallow. I mean in the grander scheme of things, getting a gf, laying a girl, laying multiple women, having multiple relationships, having a woman that likes you for you and not what you can provide, or having women respect you in general. If you cant say no to the passing fickle whims that women have and follow up with telling her what YOU want her to have or hell, just what you want, success is impossible. Women simply do not respond to men who fall on their backs every time she says roll over.

So... what exactly do I want you to do to get this ingrained in your head?

I want you to tell 20 women, "No." I dont care if its your mom, your boss, your girlfriend(or wife, lol), whoever. And then, I want you to offer up a suggestion in return. And I want you to be a damn man about it. You dont have to be a jerk, or an ass, you can do it with a sense of humor. But what you wont do is do it timidly or be scared about it.

If a girl wants you to buy her a drink, tell her "No, but if she behaves you might give her a kiss on the cheek later."

If your mom asks you to help her with something, tell her "No, but ill get dad(or find you a boyfriend) to help you since I love you so much."

If a girl asks you for answers to a test or help with her homework tell her, "No, but if you cook me a nice dinner(or give me a nice back rub) I might let you be my studdy buddy(lol, yeah, im trying to set you up for some)."

Now I shouldnt have to spell everything out for you. Im sure alot of you guys are smart. If the options I gave you dont fit a particular situation, then COME UP WITH SOMETHING ON YOUR OWN. And depending on the situation, you dont want to be inappropriate. If its your mom, obviously you dont wanna be an ass and definitely not sexual. If its your boss, dont "not do" anything that would get you fired. If its youre wife(lol), just tell her ass no over and over. Use a little sense.

And in case you didnt notice, in a couple of those examples, I did something very special. Sure, no woman will respect a man that is push over and does every single thing she asks and is always afraid to disagree. Sure, women want a man thats not afraid to say whats on his mind, go after what he wants, and take it when he wants it. But also, women VALUE a man when they have to invest in him. A woman thats not willing to do even small things for you, will probably not be willing to sleep with you. Offer women the opportunity to show compliance, and offer a reward if they do. And that offer of a reward doesnt have to always be verbalized.

If you can do this with 20 women, this alone, I promise that seducing a woman will eventually become second nature. In essence, being talented with women is simply being the type of guy that you honestly want to be, while at the same time, being decisive about what you want, making her feel comfortable about having sex with you, and her investing in you, whether that be time, attention, cooking, back rubs, sex, whatever.

And if you can do this, than you can progress to where you want to be with women.


--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Who you are, how you think, and what you want is more important than what you do.

I see alot of guys come through here with questions. Questions about women, questions about themselves, their lives and what not. Guys who need a sense of direction, who need some definition in their life. Guys who dont know how to get what they want, dont even know what they want, and dont know who they are.

Alot of these things just plain dont have simple answers. Even more, those answers usually cant come from other people. Sure people can tell you about who THEY are, and what THEY want, and the direction THEY take in life. And maybe, if you get lucky, you'll get a guy or two who can give you some tips on how to find that stuff on your own.

But thats really what it comes down to. You HAVE TO, you have no choice, but to do that yourself. Noone can tell you what you want or what youre looking for. At best, they can tell you how to start figuring that out and try to help you get there when you do.

(and this post started as a response to another guys question)

Click Here to read the thread.



So you say you cant find a worthwhile girl. Cant find a decent girlfriend, even a decent FB or two. You cant find a girl that youd want to keep around, yet you seem to have no short supply of women to chose from.

The first thing I have to ask you is not whats wrong with them(the women), but whats wrong with you?

Listen, as I was typing this, a girl asked me what I was doing. My reply was, "writing". Naturally she asks about what and I tell her the answer to a guys question. And instead of writing all out again, its much more genuine in the conversation. The road to solving alot of guys problems, afcs and puas alike begins in this conversation. That, and some of it is for humor.


Nashville Playboy: Soooo... when are you coming to visit

L Williams: let me think about it. what r u doing?

Nashville Playboy: im writing

L Williams: writing what

Nashville Playboy: the answer to this guys problem

L Williams: what guy

Nashville Playboy: this one. its not like you know him, lol

L Williams: what problem he got, maybe i can help

Nashville Playboy: lol, i doubt it, he's having women problems. Well, its not really women problems, its him

(and its not what it sounds like. Ill explain)

L Williams: well im a woman...im sure i can help him more than u can

Nashville Playboy: lol, youre not serious right

L Williams: y wouldnt i be

Nashville Playboy: well, if youre better with women than i am, then sure, maybe you can help him

L Williams: im not gay

Nashville Playboy: then what room do you have to say that you can help him

L Williams: because im a woman

Nashville Playboy: you can give him advice that would be suitable to you, not suitable to women in general

L Williams: isnt ur advice based on men in general

Nashville Playboy: well, i have to say this, the problems men have with women, they're easier to see when youve had the same problems and had to find solutions, especially when the problem isnt the women, its him

Nashville Playboy: he probably doesnt know himself well, he doesnt know what he wants, he doesnt have much direction because he doesnt know where he wants to go, and he needs to figure that out, and thats his main problem

L Williams: r u his friend

Nashville Playboy: i wouldnt say that

(Im not exactly feeling like explaining the concept of mASF here, lol)

Nashville Playboy: and after that, his next problem is I dont think he loves women. I mean, he's not gay at all. When a guy has no problem meeting women, getting phone numbers, etc, but cant find a girl that he likes, or a decent girlfriend, or even just something regular on the side because he doesnt WANT to keep her around, that sounds like its something in his mind keeping him from being able to fully appreciate a woman

Nashville Playboy: dont get me wrong, im not saying he should setlle at all. But if you want to find a woman that you can be happy with, you first have to realize that women are severly flawed. And not just women, guys too. People in general simply arent perfect and everyone will always have something about them that you dont like

Nashville Playboy: and as far as women go, you can either hate them for their flaws or love them in spite of them. they dont really give you too many options. And i think he pays too much attention to their flaws and not enough attention to their redeeming qualities.

Nashville Playboy: or in other words, theres not real love for what a woman is. And if you cant love women, you wont find one that youre satisfied with

L Williams: im sure it more complicated than that

Nashville Playboy: then youre surely wrong its that simple.

L Williams: ur entitled to ur opinion

Nashville Playboy: if you have no short supply of women to choose from and you cant find at least ONE that you dont mind having around, something is wrong with YOU. What is wrong with your mindset that you cant find something to appreciate in at least one person, not saying you have to marry her or even get in a serious relationship

L Williams: im not disagreeing to the point that something has to be wrong with the person, i just dont think it as simple as a mindset thing

Nashville Playboy: and why is that?

L Williams: because there are other factors that accept how u connect with people

Nashville Playboy: ok, keep goin

L Williams: thats all i got...u cant just tell urself to change, something happened to make u the way u are

Nashville Playboy: lol, i know that, but how you see things has just as much of an impact on who you are as the things that happen to you because things happen to EVERYONE. how choose to perceive those things affects what you do afterward, but your perception is still a choice.

Nashville Playboy: he can choose to focus on whats wrong with the women he meets or he can choose to focus on whats good in the women he meets, and that makes all the difference. AND he needs to figure out what hes looking for, whats acceptable to him, whats not acceptable to him, what he's attracted to, what he's looking for in the short and long term. Put that together and he can solve his own problem

L Williams: r u a therapist

Nashville Playboy: lol, ive had a lot of life in 23 years

L Williams: it cool that u look at everything in such simple terms but if things are really as simple as you think it is, there would be no problems

Nashville Playboy: thats not really that fair. You assume what i said is easy. The reason there are problems are because the solutions arent easy, not becuase the answers arent simple.

L Williams: u the one that said "its that simple"

Nashville Playboy: its not that theyre simple. Its because things like that, they are hard for people to do. People are lazy. They do the things theyve always done. The things theyve always been taught. They live the life theyve always lived. Its hard to change.

Nashville Playboy: It hurts to look at yourself, pick apart your problems and put in the effort to fix them. And its even tougher when fixing it doesnt happen overnight. Its easier to accept everything as ok and be oblivious. And most people take the easy route in life.

L Williams: (and ill leave out some of her personal business right here)...now sometimes still find it hard to connect in a relationship...that doesnt make me lazy or not wanting change...some things change you...u have to adapt to situations in different ways...sometimes people dont think that they way that u deal is how u are supposed to act

Nashville Playboy: Ahhh, I see.

(Again, I edited out some of her personal business)

L Williams: im just saying u can make generalizations like u are doing right now

Nashville Playboy: Well, thats another thing, everything wont fit everyone all the time. Been there done that.Well, unlike in math, in life, there is probably always more than one "right" answer to a question. And although im making a generalization, with him, im probably right. That doesnt necessarily account for everyone. I dont take that for granted either. Its just impossible to account for everyone.

Nashville Playboy: Like in your situation, i cant argue that what happens to you doesnt shape you as much as how you percieve things, at least not in that particular example. And connecting with people, a real genuine connection, that gets to be more complicated than just being able to accept someone. And dont let me pretend i know where youre coming from cuz i dont(again, her issues). I dont identify with it all. All I know is it sucks, it aint fair, and shit happens especailly to people that dont deserve it.



But in general, who you are, how you think, and what you want are SOOOO much more important than what you do. Tons of guys come here and fix their actions. They learn the routines, the lines, the material, the methods, but they never fix themselves. And so they improve but only so much. Then they continue to struggle.

Sure, they might get laid. But they struggle with meeting "good" women, keeping the women they want, problems with oneitis, problems with overcompensating for oneitis, intimacy (connection, rapport, trust) issues, and being happy in general. Some guys go looking for "that one girl" that will make them happy and solve all their problems. Some guys go drown themselves in loads of girls trying to fill some hole in them by filling some girls holes(lol, but im serious though).

And the truth is, you cant be happy with a woman... you simply cant find joy, happiness, and satisfaction with a woman(or women) until youre happy with yourself. Truly and honestly happy with yourself, or at least with the way youre improving yourself. And Im not talking about just getting better at PU. I mean being a better person. Being the type of guy that you actually want to be. Being able to stop putting on a charade or pretending to be a certain guy to make people happy, or to get laid, or so some chick loves you.

I mean genuine satisfaction with you who you are.

And then you have to love women. Not just love ass. I mean, REALLY love women. Love women for what they are. I know they can be fickly, self centered, emotionally unstable, biased, gold digging, menstrual cramp having, manipulative bitches. It happens. There are guys like that, lol.

But they can also be the sweetest, most genuine, loving, caring, passionate, sexy, intelligent things on Gods green Earth. And its not easy, but you have to learn to love the things that make them beautiful(not just on the outside, because looks mean nothing but a trophy and motivation to be sexual in the long run) in spite of their flaws.

Keep reading...

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Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Women and their Really Ridiculous Shit Tests

I still don't think I've come to the conclusion as to whether or not women honestly believe the crap that comes out of there mouths that they test guys with.

I mean, honestly... its SOOO ridiculous that they have to know they're full of crap.

But then I realize just how much ridiculous stuff passes my way from women. Younger women, older women, intelligent women, "not-so-intelligent" women, women I've just met, and women I've known for awhile... it gets to be so much stuff that I start thinking that maybe they do honestly believe the ridiculous things they say.

Somehow though, they've managed to backwards rationalize behavior that is by far illogical to the point of being ridiculous, and that from one man to another would be unacceptable, as being absolutely in line with reality. And even manage to convince themselves that even though its makes absolutely no sense, it makes sense.

This is the nature of a woman.

Unfortunately, you can really only hate them for it, or love them in spite of it, because in the realm of what we do here, you'll be confronted with it contstantly.

I'm confronted with it constantly. Its so evident in my dealings with women that I can barely see the tests anymore. Lately, I've been light years ahead of "how do I pass this shit test" because "crap" never really enters my reality.

And it comes from not taking women seriously at all. I mean, when they're upset, I care, when they're happy, I'm happy for them, but I don't get bent out of shape regardless of what they say or do. Almost never do I have to "think" what should I do because I've become so comfortable with myself that nothing they throw at me tempts me to "stop" being who I am, just so I can handle their tests.

You just can't let the things that women do shake you and who you are. You can't take the ridiculous things seriously, because if you do, even if you give the "right" answer, to some degree, you've already lost because the crap was ridiculous to begin with.

And I hate to use an online example, but its really not unlike the tests I get in real life... other than the exact words are right there and its all clear. No distortion.


NVP: You know, you be having all kinds of crazy mood swings girl.First it was "leave me the fuck alone", then it was "ready for commitment" or something, and today its "had an accidental crazy night"... what the hell you be doing over there? lol You have me cracking up. Of all your friends, I'm guessing you're the goofy one huh.


Girl: yea thats me...I'm a libra and i try to balance allot of things out...but yea I'm the realest but da goofiest...never the type to think I'm better than anyone and thats y people love me...imma cool girl that just loves to have fun


NVP: that cool. I love a girl with a sense of humor and doesn't have her nose up at everyone. And since you aren't the type to act like your better than everyone else... Wouldn't you just love to take me out to dinner?Lol. I know, I'm silly.But foreal though, you'd love to wouldnt you?

Girl: LOL...I THOUGHT IT WAS DA OTHA WAY AROUND...BUT MY ANSWER IS NO ANYWAYS... I DONT MEET ANYONE OFF MYSPACE OR ANY WEBSITE...AINT MY STYLE...NOW I'M OUT EVERYWHERE SO HOLLA AT ME WHEN U SEE ME....1 LUV!


(I'm laughin to myself here... never think you're better than anyone, but too good to meet someone from the internet even when they make you laugh and smile... aka snobby stuck up little girl, lol)


NVP: Well sunshine... I'm special. that why its not the other way around. Ok, really, I just wanted some food, lol. But since I'm nice, I'll treat you this one time. Whats your favorite thing to eat? BK, Mickey D's, Wendy's... long as its got a value menu, lol. I'm not sure if I like you enough to be spoiling you, especially since you don't wanna take me out to eat just because I'm talking to you on the computer.


Girl: ok...this conversation is now over...GOOD BYE! Keep checkin out my status!


(obviously, it was gonna be some crap bitchy status message that neither I nor anyone else cares about. Who cares. Anyway, here we go with the test to the test... either way, you're ridiculous and would have to do ALOT to earn some respect now)


NVP: You sure gave up on "never da type to think im better than anyone and dats y people love me" pretty fast, lol. I was just teasing you, lighten up sunshine.


Girl: hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!


The sad thing is... I dont make this stuff up. Even sadder, this is normal.

The saddest part is that because stuff like this is normal, I can rarely take women seriously.

The best part is... it makes women so much easier.

So just how ridiculous can girls get?

As I'm typing this, literally, I get a text message from a friend of mine who's something of a natural. And it reads, word for word:

"Met a girl at BP. Next thing u kno, she wanted to have phone sex lol. I said yeah, then she was doin it and I was watchin tv. Den she said 'oh shit, my fiances callin' lol"

And this is why I laugh until I cough a lung up on the floor. The things that women say and do and the ways they justify their behavior can't be taken seriously. Otherwise, you'll be the guy who calls his fiance in the middle of having phone sex(but since he wasnt participating... phone autostimulation) with the guy she met at BP.


--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP

Horny Until Proven Innocent

Theres a phrase that suggests that a womans sexual preference and her general demeanor and social behavior are completely unrelated, or at least thats the gist of it.

I've heard it referred to as madonna/whore complex...

I call it... real life.

Honestly.

I meet women all the time who pretend to be soooo innocent. Not even seem, they are generally innocent in their behavior and thought processes.

And they're freaks. They love sex, even "slap my ass, pull my hair, and call me dirty".

How does this apply to you? So kind of you to ask.

Never at any point in any interaction with any woman should you ever be afraid to display some intent. Every woman at some point in time(usually all day long) WANTS TO BE DESIRED AS A WOMAN.

I'll break down what that means. How do you define a writer? By his literature. How do you define a musician? By his music. How do you define an artist? By his works. How do you define a woman?

By her sexuality.

It is far from counter-intuitive. There's no confusing outrageous social programming that can hide this simple fact.

Why am I telling you this? Man, you ask all the right questions.

One of the biggest issues men have in their interactions with women is that men are scared to express or even imply some sexual interest in a woman.

Yeah, we always see those drunk guys in bars slobbering all over some chick who shoots him down. That isn't the same thing. Thats just the guy making an ass out of himself.

Have you ever wondered why as a pick-up artist, you never see anyone else out doing daygame? Its an amazing realization isn't it? We are practically the only guys doing daygame. Everyone else is out doing their daily routine or WITH THEIR SOCIAL CIRCLE. No guys are really out there approaching women. You almost never see it.

Why?

Because men are afraid of women, men are afraid of expressing some sexual intent, men are afraid and insecure.

Women on the other hand, sexual creatures that they are, WANT TO BE DESIRED AS A WOMAN, even the most innocent and sweetest of girls. In fact, that is the only reason why a pickup artist is successful with women. Its not magic. Its not the lines. Its not gimmicks. Its the fact that women in general DESIRE MEN and feel a need to be sexually desired and possessed themselves.

Its practically every woman. A girl(who happens to have a serious long-term relationship with another girl) tells me, "I don't usually sleep with boys ever so this is weird for me..."

She's talking about wanting me...

Lol.

With that in mind, why would you EVER be uncomfortable with being sexual with a woman?

There is no good reason. Women want to be had.

Have at them.

--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.

Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.

NVP