A couple of years back, I used to spend time thinking of "How do I pass this damn shit test." Its evident now, guys have the same thought processes I had years ago.
You know the problem with thinking you have to pass a shit test? Its the fact that you place the future of the interaction on actually passing the shit test. You HAVE to have the right answer.
WTF
I'm telling you from experience, its a flawed mentality. Don't think you HAVE to do anything. Girls don't dictate what we do or say. We do whatever we want and if she doesn't like us for who we are, thats her problem.
I wont go through all the advice that I've given and seen guys give when it comes to passing shit tests. Its a moot point. It will lead you nowhere but having to pass more shit tests.
And I'm going somewhere with this, dont worry. I've heard everything from girls.
"I don't have a phone."
"I don't give people my number(but yet there's 20 guys calling her phone everyday)."
"You're such a player."
"You didn't think I was gonna sleep with you, did you?"
"I hate you. Leave me alone and never talk to me again."
"Get away from me."
Lol, everything in the book that a chick could throw at you, I've probably heard. And I dont know how long ago I realized this but, the more emphasis you place on passing shit tests, the more likely it is for you to "fail".
Guys at the top of their game simply no longer know what a shit test is. They dont care. It doesn't even register to me that a girl is shit testing me until hours later when Im playing out the interaction in my head, trying to see what I can learn from.
What am I getting at? The best way to pass EVERY shit test is to care so little about passing them, that you hardly know what a shit test is. Your actions or your mindset should never take away from being comfortable with yourself, being comfortable with women, and being comfortable with being sexual. If you have that, a shit test is nothing, especially when you dont care.
Thats the only explanation I can give for passing those shit tests above.
Two principles my actions are guided by:
1. I know chicks are full of bs for the most part. I barely take them seriously.
2. I simply dont give a damn and for the most part, I do what I want.
Lol.
This leads to, for the most part, me either ignoring the bs that I get from chicks or laughing at them.
Seriously. A girl can tell you, "either you take me out to dinner, or Ill never call you again." Well, you have to options right? Hell no. You can do anything you want to do. You can laugh and say thats cute. You can ask her what she likes more, mcdonalds or burger king. You can say you don't pay for dinner but if she behaves you might buy desert. Shit test that it is, you don't even have acknowledge the fact that its a test if you don't take her seriously and don't even care if you ever talk to her again.
You can do anything you want and have her still like you. Stop worrying so much about passing the test and do what you want. Thats what women honestly want. A guy who can do what he wants, be comfortable with that, and still manage to lead others in the same direction.
For the most part(lol).
--
Being successful with women is not about the lines you recite or the moves you make. Any loser can trick a woman into sleeping with him. That doesn't keep him from being a loser.
Its about who you are and where your focus is, not what you do. If you're comfortable with yourself, comfortable with women, and comfortable with being sexual, you ARE the kind of guy that is successful with women.
NVP
About Me
- Nashville Playboy
- I'm me... lol. A very laid back and relaxed guy, born and raised in Nashville, Tn. I have a variety of interests ranging from music to women... ok, almost exclusively music and women. I like to hit the gym, sing, read(even that one is new to me), and as some would call me: Pick-up Artist.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Shit test? Please. WTF is a shit test?
Posted by Nashville Playboy at 7:00 PM
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4 comments:
Hey man, just wanted to say that I've been reading all of your posts tonight and have gotten a lot of insight from them. A lot of what I've read in the forums and in the community seems so f-ing scripted and insincere and I think you've done a good job picking apart the bullshit and nailing the key points for success. I've been getting way better at my game by becoming comfortable in all social situations and I feel like everything else has followed suit. I see so many people trying so hard to get "in the zone" and get the hottest chicks when they're not even comfortable with themselves or with interaction in general. Anyways, thanks for all the insightful posts, and I plan on reading your blog regularly. Peace,
Colin
Dude, I'm just glad you got something out of it. You'd be surprised at how often my own mistakes are contributed to not doing the things that I preach. Seriously. Most of my issues occur when stop doing the basic things that I KNOW are what work, or get too wrapped up in thinking or start questioning myself.
Relax, go after the women you want, and it will come to you.
On the one hand, I think that shit tests are there for a reason. Shit tests check a man's frame and remind him to keep it in place.
We are practically standing there with neon signs for you saying: "Check yourself, dude."
Is it not better to have shit tests as road signs? All you have to do is get over the speed bumps, essentially reminding us that you are still deserving and able to lead our relationships.
On the other hand, whenever I recognize myself shit testing AFTER the deed is already done my LTR I feel like absolute crap about it (especially if he didn't pass) and always feel the need to apologize (and do so) before he even calls me out on it, if he ever does. I have made it a goal for myself to keep shit tests out of my and my boyfriend's life and think I'm doing pretty well so far. To me, shit tests feel like one of those necessary evils that you can try to live without, but have a hard time adjusting. We'll get there eventually.
I'd agree that for women, shit tests, or any kind of method to test for congruency are a necessary evil... at least to a degree.
The average guy who has no understanding of how women work and who can't approach on a level that will pique your interest will be screened out by tests.
Thats good.
BUT...
There are many great wonderful guys that just don't know how to deal specifically with THIS, so they get screened out as well and often because of "tests" that you don't even know you give and aren't even looking for an answer or specific response.
The response is generally HOW the guy reacts. And the correct response is generally not much of a reaction. Not taking you seriously. Playing with you. Sending the same crap back at you. Ignoring you completely. Takeaways.
But the problem for guys is after understanding what a shit test is, the automatic assumption is now... "I have to pass this" and that is setting yourself up to fail. Constantly feeling pressured to past test is the quickest way to do the opposite of passing them.
If the object of a test is to draw a reaction, then the answer(as I gave specific examples above) is to cause YOU to react MORE than him.
"I have to pass this" creates a frame where you're starting from behind. And what most of us don't realize, guys pass tests with ease when they never realize they were getting tested.
Their focus is on creating and maintaining a good vibe, or being playful, or making you feel comfortable, or just entertaining themselves. Its situations like these that(at least in early interactions) that guys not only get tested the most, but unknowingly past the most shit tests.
In short, the less focus you place on "passing", the less likely you are to be in a position where you "need" to pass.
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